Goldman Sachs Holds Up Its “Government Sachs” Initiative After Hiring Former Britain PM…

By Stocks News   |   2 weeks ago   |   Stock Market News
Goldman Sachs Holds Up Its “Government Sachs” Initiative After Hiring Former Britain PM…

Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Goldman Sachs has decided that what it really needs in these times of “geopolitical uncertainty” is the guy who managed to lose a general election so badly that the British pound almost felt embarrassed for him. Rishi Sunak, fresh off his tour as the UK’s prime minister (October 2022–July 2024), and before that, pandemic money printer-in-chief… just got tapped as Goldman’s newest senior adviser. Bigly. 

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(Source: Giphy) 

In short, Sunak sliding back into Goldman is basically the world’s laziest sequel. He started here as a summer intern in 2000, did his time as an analyst, then detoured through the “public service” section of his CV. Translation: he took a decade-long gap year, learned how to smile through disaster, and ruined at least one group chat with policy takes.’ Now he’s back, only this time he gets a new title, a “macro/geopolitical” word salad in the press release, and an expense account that could fund a small coup in a developing nation. Pop Quiz: How long will it take before he falls for a Nigerian prince/overthrow South Sudan scam

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(Source: Reuters) 

Some might say Goldman is just following that time-honored tradition where politicians go from “serving the public” to serving $500 sushi to sovereign wealth clients. You get the playbook: first, lose power; second, find a corner office; third, pretend on conference calls that you understand fintech regulation in Singapore. George Osborne did it at BlackRock. Sajid Javid did it at Centricus. 

Now, Sunak is there to “advise clients globally on macroeconomic and geopolitical issues.” In English: he’s a rentable ex-prime minister with a Rolodex full of world leaders, corporate lobbyists, and at least five people who can get you an off-the-record brunch with a head of state. Expect Sunak to show up in high-stakes meetings where Goldman’s billion-dollar clients need someone who can explain what the hell is going on in Westminster, Brussels, or whatever post-Brexit panic button gets hit next.

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(Source: Giphy) 

Of course, if you want Goldman’s actual logic… such as it is… just look at what passes for “unique perspective” in CEO David Solomon’s statement. Apparently, being yelled at by both Labour and the Tory backbench means you’re now qualified to advise billionaires on “navigating risk.” But hey, they call it “Government Sachs” for a reason, and it’s not because anyone on either side can deliver a straight answer about who’s running policy anymore. As for investors, well the news has been more of a wet blanket than anything as the stock is down -1.79% over the past five days. 

Oh, and in case you thought Sunak had a single unembarrassing public quote, remember: this is the man capable of telling schoolkids “I was a total Coke addict” in front of cameras, and then having to clarify, awkwardly, that he meant the drinks, not the actual reason most managing directors make it through earnings week.

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(Source: Giphy) 

In the end, Sunak gets special access to DJ-Sols ragers, and Goldman’s clients get to say they have a literal ex-prime minister on speed dial. How fun. Now obviously, only time will tell how much of a difference Sunak will make for Goldman, but it’s interesting to watch regardless. Meaning, place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

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At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article. 

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