If you took a snapshot of the airline industry right now, you’d probably assume we were in a recession. Spirit’s offloading planes like it’s hocking stuff at a pawn shop just to keep the lights on. JetBlue is still trying to recover from its failed Spirit merger, cutting routes and metaphorically throwing cash out of a plane. Frontier’s added more seats and fewer services… apparently in a bid to win the “Greyhound in the Sky” award. But as for De...
Nothing bonds people like trauma, and Linda Yaccarino just trauma-bonded with the internet’s worst boss for two whole years without turning to hard drugs on a live stream (that we know of). She’s finally punching her ticket off Elon Musk’s X, the only “everything app” where “everything” includes lawsuits, Nazi bots, a horrific post-acquisition valuation, and an algorithm on a bender. Live look at Elon right now: (Source: Giphy) ...
Get you a friend who looks at you like Trump looks at Bolsonaro… Sometimes you wake up and it’s just another day in the matrix. Other times, Trump casually decides to detonate a 50% tariff on Brazil and the entire hemisphere gets whiplash. Forget World Bank roundtables and G7 joints… this is international trade-by-golden-bat, baby, and Trump’s running the scoreboard like it’s WrestleMania XXIV. (Source: Giphy) In short, Brazil is getting slapped...
There are mergers and then there’s Ferrero, the shadow cabal responsible for every Nutella-based personality disorder, waving a $3 billion check at WK Kellogg. According to sources, this deal, which is a tip way from closing, would unite two titans of insulin warfare: the company that makes your dentist weep every Christmas and the one that raised you on food dye and artificial strawberries masquerading as “part of a balanced breakfast.” (Source: Giphy) If you&r...
First BRICS, now trade war season two featuring special guests Japan and Korea. Trump definitely had a helluva weekend because today, he woke up and chose violence as the markets have done their best impression of a fainting goat with the Dow down 500 points already. (Source: Giphy) So what happened between this morning's article on BRICs tariffs and now? Well, Trump fired off a pair of “Dear John” letters to Japan and Korea via Truth Social stating that on...
For the past few years, Apple TV+ has mostly existed in the streaming world as that one friend who shows up to every group trip, contributes nothing to the Airbnb, but insists on splitting the Chick-Fil-A bill evenly (we all had a friend’s name come into mind just now). Sure, they had CODA (an Oscar win that briefly gave them a reason to sit at the grown-up table) but ever since then, the vibe’s been more art school intern with unlimited budget than actual blockbuster factory....
Somebody take away Elon's phone. Or don’t… At this point, the entertainment value is the only ROI Tesla shareholders are getting. In short, Azoria Partners was this close to launching a Tesla Convexity ETF next week (a glorified, options laced Tesla fan club for people who think regular stocks are just too vanilla). Then Elon woke up, thought, “You know what this country needs? More political pissing contests”, and thus, the “American Party” was born.&nbs...
Every few months, Wall Street gets bored of pretending it understands AI, and pivots back to the world’s oldest speculative itch: wrapping crypto in enough legalese to trick pension fund managers into thinking they’re “early.” This is precisely where ReserveOne comes in… the newest “first-of-its-kind” crypto holding company that has convinced an entire table of strategic investors that holding a potluck of bitcoin, ethereum, and Solana counts as, you kn...
Question: “Hey Siri, what’s Trump’s favorite song?” Answer: "If I Could Turn Back Time By Cher” Specifically to April… right before he nuked the markets with tariff threats and gave every 50-year-old man in America flashbacks to 2008 and the sound of Jim Cramer screaming on live TV. As I warned you over the weekend (yep, the tariff pause ends Wednesday… full breakdown here), we’re back in the danger zone. And right on cue&hellip...
There’s tanking, and then there’s whatever Tesla just did in China. The home of the American Party’s maniac and chief, is now serving its seventh consecutive main character crisis on Wall Street as it’s reported a grand total of 5,010 new insured registrations in China for the week of June 30 to July 6. That’s a 75.8% drop from the previous week’s 20,700. The Model Y SUV, by the way, accounted for 3,550 of those. (Source: Giphy) For starters, t...
To quote Sam Bankman Fried (after being caught mid Ponzi scheme on Twitter): “that escalated quickly.” Roughly a month ago, reports started trickling out that the Trump administration was dusting off some Cold War playbooks and looking to invoke the Defense Production Act (basically the federal government’s “break glass in case of national emergency” toolkit) to pump taxpayer money into rare earth projects. And this morning, the Pentagon did just that: they w...
Right around the same time Sam Altman’s company announced a nearly $6.5 billion deal to buy Jony Ive’s mysterious AI device startup (marking the largest acquisition in OpenAI’s short but chaos-filled history) it turns out they had a much bigger card up their sleeve. Because while everyone was busy debating whether the Altman–Ive bromance would lead to the iPhone of AI (or another $3,000 office collectible), OpenAI was quietly preparing to come for Google Chrome&rsq...
As Kamala Harris once famously said: “We are guided by what we have seen, what we have done, and what we know can be, unburdened by what has been.” Which, loosely translated, means: Jensen Huang went from wiping down tables (and toilets) at Denny’s to wiping out every record in the stock market. Nvidia just became the first company in history to hit a $4T market cap… briefly, but hey, who’s counting? (Investors. Investors are counting.) The stock popped 2% as Big T...
After getting cut off from selling knockoff versions of Ozempic by Novo Nordisk, Hims & Hers is now seizing a rare, totally legal chance to sell generic semaglutide (the magic ingredient inside Ozempic and Wegovy) in Canada. And they owe it all to one of the dumbest clerical blunders in modern pharma history. Back in 2019, someone at Novo Nordisk forgot to pay a routine Canadian patent maintenance fee. That’s it. A fee. Not a billion-dollar lawsuit or regulatory recall… i...
Before Super Micro became one of the most talked-about names in AI infrastructure, it was best known for something a little less flattering: allegedly helping the Chinese government spy on Apple and Amazon. (Not exactly the kind of thing you put on your company homepage.) In 2018, Bloomberg Businessweek published what might go down as one of the most dramatic tech articles of the decade… accusing Chinese operatives of sneaking rice-sized spy chips onto Super Micro motherboards. The...
Watching Merck drop $10 billion on Verona Pharma (+20%), is like walking in on your boss blackout-bidding at a charity auction, except instead of a weekend in Napa, it’s a British inhaler startup with one (count ‘em… one) commercial product. Congratulations to all the Verona bagholders who just got airdropped generational wealth by accident. If your morning started with the taste of expired protein bars and regret, at least you didn’t wake up at Merck’s M&A dep...
Wait, you thought you could own a piece of OpenAI from your phone, in Europe, because Vlad Tenev told you so on CNBC? According to OpenAI, that’s a big no. In case you missed Vlad Tenev’s latest “anyone can get rich quick” scheme, Robinhood rolled out “stock tokens” so European users could allegedly get “exposure” to private companies like OpenAI and SpaceX. (Source: Giphy) How? By buying blockchain-based tokens backed by a co...
Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Goldman Sachs has decided that what it really needs in these times of “geopolitical uncertainty” is the guy who managed to lose a general election so badly that the British pound almost felt embarrassed for him. Rishi Sunak, fresh off his tour as the UK’s prime minister (October 2022–July 2024), and before that, pandemic money printer-in-chief… just got tapped as Goldman’s newest senior adviser. Bigly. ...
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