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Get StartHey Siri, how do you say “Art of the Deal” in Hindi? Donnie Deels hopped on Truth Social yesterday and announced he and India’s PM Narendra Modi just “got it on” (in a good way). We have tariffs down, big numbers being thrown around, energy is suddenly rerouted… and everybody is smiling in different time zones. Bigly. In short, according to #47, reciprocal U.S. tariffs on India are dropping from 25% to 18%, effective immediately. India,...
“You can’t do this to me… do you know how much I’ve sacrificed?” -Bitcoiners after Scott Bessent made it clear the world’s #1 financial cult is not getting the 2008 “too big to fail” treatment. And yes, before you yell at your screen: “AMD just got absolutely vaporized and you’re talking about crypto?” Hang tight. We’re walking into that fire shortly. Bitcoin slid another 2% on this blessed hump day (now hovering...
As if Bitcoin wasn’t already having a rough go, the biggest short-seller of all time just chimed in. In a Substack post on Monday, Michael Burry warned that Bitcoin’s slide could turn into a self-feeding “death spiral,” especially for companies that spent the last year stuffing their balance sheets with it. Bitcoin is now down about 40% from its October high. And for Burry, that’s kind of the point. When things got tense, gold and silver moved higher. Bitcoin...
Does your investment criteria include “legacy fintechs getting pantsed by Apple Pay in real time?” Buddy, I’ve got a ticker for you… Happy earnings season to everyone except for the folks currently shaking at their desks inside PayPal HQ. Elon’s old flame just got charged back to the tune of roughly 17% off the stock, after their numbers revealed they don’t know what the f*** they’re doing. The official excuse was a 2026 profit outlook that ma...
Pour one out for the Boring Company… So it appears that Elon finally did the thing everyone assumed he wouldn’t actually do. SpaceX is folding xAI into the mothership with a new combined valuation of roughly $1.25 “WTF” trillion. (Source: Giphy) Obviously, we saw this coming soon. We just didn’t know when. But now it’s here, and now Elon is about to be insufferable again. For context, xAI has been torching cash like it’s s...
“I am never going to financially recover from this…” -morons who convinced themselves that BTFD in January was a genius move The covid sensation workout bike became a short-seller's dream today (-20%) after Peloton’s earnings all but revealed they can’t even get soccer moms excited about getting fit during New Years resolution season. You know. The one quarter where demand is basically supposed to be on autopilot. Instead, Peloton managed to fumble the ba...
Happy “Congrats to everyone who panic-sold on Thursday” Day to all who celebrate… After spending most of the week acting like tech was a federally banned substance, the market woke up Friday and decided it was, in fact, still addicted. The Dow ripped 1,200 points and closed above 50,000 big ones for the first time ever. The S&P jumped nearly 2%, the Nasdaq tacked on another 2%, and suddenly the same screens that were screaming “AI IS OVER” forty-eight...
India may be preparing to place a major aircraft order with Boeing, with government officials saying purchases could reach as much as $80 billion as part of an upcoming trade agreement with the U.S. India’s commerce and industry minister Piyush Goyal said New Delhi is “ready” to move forward with aircraft orders that have not yet been placed. When engines, spare parts, and long-term servicing are included, total aviation-related imports from the U.S. could exceed $100 billio...
“So… we might’ve gotten a little ahead of ourselves.” -Stellantis, nervously shaking at the mic Stellantis CEO Antonio Filosa deserves some kind of trophy for pulling off one of the biggest corporate oopsies in modern auto history. The Jeep-and-Chrysler parent more or less meandered its way to the earnings-call mic and admitted, yeah… we’re gonna need to reset this entire thing. And just like that, the pain train began Stellantis is currently down...
skankhunt42 would be proud of his contribution to this… (iykyk) The internet's favorite cesspool (read: Reddit) has finally grown up, printed real numbers, acted like a real company, and has authorized a $1B buyback like it’s been here before (thanks, keyboard warriors). (Source: Giphy) Q4 revenue came in at $726M, up 70% YoY, and well past what the Street was bracing for. More importantly, Reddit guided Q1 revenue to $595–$605M, which is com...
“I’ve won… but at what cost?” - Andrew Jassey, probs Amazon didn’t wait a full 24 hours before big-dogging Google’s capex flex. On its earnings call yesterday, Amazon basically told all of us sheep that it plans to drop metric f*k tone worth $200 billion on capex in 2026. For context, that’s a 56% jump from 2025, and roughly $50B more big ones than Wall Street thought was even on the table. (Source: Giphy) Naturally, the stock got smo...
Everyone in Big Pharma: “Weight-loss drugs are basically free money now.” Hims & Hers: “Cool, what if we sold Wegovy… but Wish-priced?” Novo Nordisk: “Absolutely not. Lawyer up.” And just like that, Hims & Hers stock has caught yet another Home-Alone-style brick to the face. Shares tripped about 8% after Novo Nordisk publicly called Hims’ newly announced Wegovy-style pill illegal and hinted it was about to unleash the full fury of...
Stop, stop, he’s already dead! If you’re wondering how bad this selloff actually is compared to the other “buy-the-dip” moments we’ve lived through since Sam Altman kicked off the modern AI gold rush in 2022… this is the worst one yet. Think about it, when was the last time your favorite AI darlings vaporized $1 trillion in market cap before the week even ended? Exactly. It’s been a minute since we’ve seen something this aggressive. Lucky us...
Shares of Boston Scientific (NYSE: BSX) came under pressure after an analyst reduced his price target on the medical-device maker, citing a weaker-than-expected outlook for 2026 despite a solid fourth-quarter performance. Analyst Mike Matson of Needham & Company maintained a Buy rating on the stock but lowered his price target to $97 from $121, pointing to decelerating growth trends and guidance that fell modestly below Wall Street expectations. Boston Scientific reported fourth-quarter r...
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