Jensen Huang: Despite the Trumpster cockblocking us from the gold mine that is Chinese revenue… we still nearly doubled our profits. Are you not entertained? Wall Street: Best I can do is a $250 billion selloff and unreasonable expectations. Well… I’m beginning to suspect that a Nvidia earnings day (no matter how violently impressive the numbers are) now automatically triggers a sell button somewhere deep inside Wall Street’s reptile brain. And luckily for...
eBay is cutting staff again (about 800 roles, or roughly 6% of its workforce) as it reshapes the company around artificial intelligence and what it calls “strategic priorities.” The reductions span the company and are described as an effort to reinvest resources and reduce duplication. In practice, that means some teams will shrink while others (particularly those tied to AI) receive more support and funding. “We are taking steps to reinvest across our business and align...
Melania 2 may come early… In case you missed it, Ted Sarandos is flying to the White House today to talk about the WBD deal, five days after Trump publicly told Netflix to fire a board member or "pay the consequences." Read that again if you need to. (Source: Giphy) In short, the whole Netflix-Paramount-WBD cage-match has officially left the red room and entered the West Wing, which… shouldn’t surprise investors even a little. But the spe...
IMHO, Salesforce earnings felt like the brief moment in between water boards… I can only imagine that Marc Benioff is getting his Pete Weber on after Salesforce's earnings… especially considering the company just posted its best growth in two years… 12% YoY revenue, a clean beat on both lines. (Source: Giphy) Meaning, in the new age of Saas is dead, this qualifies as a miracle. For instance, adjusted EPS came in at $3.81 versus the $3.04 th...
I’ve got this rule (and it’s probably more psychological than strategic) but anytime we get a big, ugly, “blood in the streets” kind of red day… I buy the f***ing dip like my life depends on it. Partly because there’s usually a silver lining hiding somewhere in the rubble. And partly because smashing the “buy” button feels healthier than stress-eating and doom-scrolling Fed speeches at 11:47 p.m. So if we’re choosing to view this throu...
“You sit on a throne of lies” - Jensen Huang, probably About five months ago, Sam Altman had every OpenAI seed investor pounding nose beers after he stood in front of the world and said OpenAI was going to spend $1.4 trillion on infrastructure (read: Nvidia chips) by 2030. Fast forward today, and it appears @sama lied out of his a$$. (Source: Giphy) In short, out goes the $1.4 trillion number and in comes the new $600 billion number. For those keeping score a...
eBay is cutting staff again (about 800 roles, or roughly 6% of its workforce) as it reshapes the company around artificial intelligence and what it calls “strategic priorities.” The reductions span the company and are described as an effort to reinvest resources and reduce duplication. In practice, that means some teams will shrink while others (particularly those tied to AI) receive more support and funding. “We are taking steps to reinvest across our business and align...
Comparison is the thief of joy… and for Novo Nordisk it also happens to be the thief of shareholder money… If you’re one of those unlucky people who’s always being compared to your trophy brother (or sister) every minute of the day growing up… then you might belong in a therapy session with the company that got Meghan Trainor to forget about “all that bass” and turn into a twig (read: Ozempic). (Source: Hindustan Times) While you were likel...
“You better lawyer up, a**hole!” -Alex Karp next week to your local newspaper, probably Somewhere between stealing your personal data and a call with the Pentagon, it appears somebody at Palantir (read: Alex Karp) read a small Swiss magazine and muttered, “Forget about our ongoing war with shortsellers… we need to shut down a very specific printing press… ASAP.” Which brings us to the villain of the week… an online publication called Republi...
One pen to rule them all… Pour one out for Novo Nordisk, because Eli Lilly just dropped a Kendrick Lamar level diss track in the form of the Zepbound KwikPen…. a single pen that holds a full month of doses instead of making patients swap out a new auto-injector every week like they're reloading a Pez dispenser. Four shots, one device. FDA-approved label expansion and everything. Mic = dropped. (Source: Giphy) In short, prices for this diabeetus ki...
Nvidia investors checking their brokerage accounts today like: “Wait… I thought we were supposed to be in the AI bubble hangover phase?” Instead, the leather snakeskin jacketed GPU king rolled up to earnings and dropped a $215.9 BILLION annual revenue mic. Despite months of “AI is overbuilt,” “capex is peaking,” and “circular financing boogeyman” chatter… Nvidia posted record revenue and beat across the board. Q4 revenue jum...
I don’t know what you guys are whining about… we did set a new company record, that’s got to count for something right? -Stellantis CEO on earnings call Golf clap, please. Give it up for the fine folks at Stellantis, who just managed to accomplish two things at once: deliver the company’s first annual loss ever… and cement their place in the EV hype cycle hall of fame (these are not easy things to do). And in case you’re wondering how bad the da...
“I’m in a glass case of emotion adrenaline” - investors, probably We’re going back to back this Wednesday friends as the energy is… cautiously optimistic? Suspiciously optimistic? Either way, green is green. (Source: Giphy) The S&P 500 tacked on 0.8%, the Nasdaq ripped 1.26%, and the Dow added 307 points (0.6%) in what felt like the entire market holding its breath before Big Jensen takes the stage after the bell. Speaking of Obi-Huang-...
Lowe’s turned in a solid fourth quarter, topping Wall Street’s expectations even as the housing market continues to move at a measured pace. The retailer reported adjusted earnings per share of $1.98 on revenue of $20.58 billion, ahead of analysts’ forecasts of $1.94 per share on $20.34 billion, according to LSEG. Comparable sales rose 1.3%, outpacing expectations for a 0.2% gain. Revenue increased from $18.55 billion a year earlier. Still, management made clear that the...
Cava (NYSE: CAVA) reported fourth-quarter results that exceeded Wall Street expectations and issued fiscal 2026 guidance projecting continued sales growth, sending its shares up more than 20% in midday trading Wednesday. For the quarter ended Dec. 28, the fast-casual Mediterranean chain posted revenue of $275 million, compared with analyst estimates of $268 million, according to LSEG. Adjusted earnings were 4 cents per share, topping expectations of 3 cents. Net income totaled $4.9 million, o...
Japan’s antitrust regulator conducted an on-site inspection of Microsoft (NASDAQ: MSFT) Japan on Wednesday as part of an investigation into suspected violations of the country’s Antimonopoly Act tied to its cloud services. According to a person with direct knowledge of the matter, the Japan Fair Trade Commission is examining whether Microsoft Japan imposed conditions that restricted customers of its Azure platform from using competing cloud providers. The source requested anonymit...
Kid: Mommy, how did we get so rich? Mom: Because Daddy’s company sued the President over a $1B tariff bill… and his options position turned into a fireworks show when the verdict hit. Welcome to the most American sequel imaginable: everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is about to start suing over tariffs. After the Court yanked the keys to Donnie’s tariff car under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA), the chase for refunds has officially begun. And like...
Dave Tepper didn’t hear no bell… You know you’re in deep sh*t when a man who famously keeps “brass testicles” on his desk puts you on blast. And yet, the Appaloosa founder… a man who's made billions by knowing exactly when to get loud… just fired off one of those letters. The target is none other than Whirlpool… a.k.a, the company that makes your Maytag and somehow still finds new ways to destroy shareholder value like it's a c...
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