Live look at Dems right now… (Source: Giphy) After torching the Nexstar–Tegna merger a few months ago, Donnie Deals has gone to Truth Social yelling “GET THAT DEAL DONE!” (no exaggeration) like he just discovered where the volume knob is. The deal in question, obvi, is none other than Nexstar Media buying Tegna for $6.2B, scooping up 64 more stations and pushing Nexstar’s reach to roughly 80% of the country. It was announced las...
“I promise it won’t happen again…” -Hims CEO Andrew Dudum, knowing full well, it will in fact, happen again Well… turns out the Silicon Valley mantra of “move fast and break things” hits a little different when the thing you’re breaking is federal drug law. That lesson arrived quickly for Hims & Hers, which wasted no time slamming the eject button on its would-be Wegovy clone after Novo Nordisk and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration...
A federal jury in Phoenix found Uber (NASDAQ: UBER) liable on Thursday in a lawsuit brought by a woman who said she was sexually assaulted by a driver, awarding the plaintiff $8.5 million in compensatory damages. The case was the first to reach trial among more than 3,000 similar lawsuits against Uber that have been consolidated in U.S. federal court. Jurors concluded that the driver acted as an agent of Uber, making the company responsible for his conduct. The panel declined to award punitiv...
Kalshi started out letting people bet on who would win Best Picture or the White House. Now it wants permission to do something with way loftier ambitions... trade prediction markets on margin. The U.S.-regulated prediction market is quietly pushing the Commodity Futures Trading Commission for approval to allow margin trading… a move that would reshape who shows up to trade, how much capital flows in, and how seriously regulators treat “event contracts.” According to...
“You can’t do this to me… do you know how much I’ve sacrificed?” -Bitcoiners after Scott Bessent made it clear the world’s #1 financial cult is not getting the 2008 “too big to fail” treatment. And yes, before you yell at your screen: “AMD just got absolutely vaporized and you’re talking about crypto?” Hang tight. We’re walking into that fire shortly. Bitcoin slid another 2% on this blessed hump day (now hovering...
As if Bitcoin wasn’t already having a rough go, the biggest short-seller of all time just chimed in. In a Substack post on Monday, Michael Burry warned that Bitcoin’s slide could turn into a self-feeding “death spiral,” especially for companies that spent the last year stuffing their balance sheets with it. Bitcoin is now down about 40% from its October high. And for Burry, that’s kind of the point. When things got tense, gold and silver moved higher. Bitcoin...
A federal jury in Phoenix found Uber (NASDAQ: UBER) liable on Thursday in a lawsuit brought by a woman who said she was sexually assaulted by a driver, awarding the plaintiff $8.5 million in compensatory damages. The case was the first to reach trial among more than 3,000 similar lawsuits against Uber that have been consolidated in U.S. federal court. Jurors concluded that the driver acted as an agent of Uber, making the company responsible for his conduct. The panel declined to award punitiv...
“I am never going to financially recover from this…” -morons who convinced themselves that BTFD in January was a genius move The covid sensation workout bike became a short-seller's dream today (-20%) after Peloton’s earnings all but revealed they can’t even get soccer moms excited about getting fit during New Years resolution season. You know. The one quarter where demand is basically supposed to be on autopilot. Instead, Peloton managed to fumble the ba...
You might think your job is stressful, but there’s no chance it’s tougher than being the PR person for my 16-year-old self’s former employer right now. The Old Country Store that tried to reinvent itself and accidentally lit $94 million in market value on fire is back with a new corporate brainwave: employees on business trips should eat at Cracker Barrel… mostly Cracker Barrel… and preferably nothing but Cracker Barrel. According to an internal memo sco...
Not all heroes wear capes… Well, it appears that America finally bullied a Fortune 50 company into blinking… and now, snackflation is getting walked back. Pepsi says it’s cutting retail prices up to 15% on Lay’s, Doritos, and Cheetos across the U.S., starting basically now. Why? Because all God's people said… In short, this decision didn’t come from a glorified think tank. It came from consumers absolutely spamming Pepsi with co...
“I didn’t know that was a real company, I thought it was just a fake name for her latest Capital One credit card commercial…” -me after watching everyone’s favorite credit card actress light up the NYSE Have you ever wished you could buy a stock to get the approval of your wife who is now a self-described “crunchy mom”... You’re in luck. Once Upon a Farm just rang the bell on the New York Stock Exchange and the debut went about as smoothly as a...
SpaceX has signaled a change in its near-term exploration priorities, telling investors it plans to concentrate first on a return to the Moon before attempting a mission to Mars, according to a report from Wall Street Journal. The privately held aerospace company is now targeting March 2027 for an uncrewed lunar landing, the report said, marking a shift from earlier public statements by founder Elon Musk, who had previously suggested a Mars mission could take place as early as 2026. SpaceX...
Happy “Congrats to everyone who panic-sold on Thursday” Day to all who celebrate… After spending most of the week acting like tech was a federally banned substance, the market woke up Friday and decided it was, in fact, still addicted. The Dow ripped 1,200 points and closed above 50,000 big ones for the first time ever. The S&P jumped nearly 2%, the Nasdaq tacked on another 2%, and suddenly the same screens that were screaming “AI IS OVER” forty-eight...
India may be preparing to place a major aircraft order with Boeing, with government officials saying purchases could reach as much as $80 billion as part of an upcoming trade agreement with the U.S. India’s commerce and industry minister Piyush Goyal said New Delhi is “ready” to move forward with aircraft orders that have not yet been placed. When engines, spare parts, and long-term servicing are included, total aviation-related imports from the U.S. could exceed $100 billio...
“So… we might’ve gotten a little ahead of ourselves.” -Stellantis, nervously shaking at the mic Stellantis CEO Antonio Filosa deserves some kind of trophy for pulling off one of the biggest corporate oopsies in modern auto history. The Jeep-and-Chrysler parent more or less meandered its way to the earnings-call mic and admitted, yeah… we’re gonna need to reset this entire thing. And just like that, the pain train began Stellantis is currently down...
skankhunt42 would be proud of his contribution to this… (iykyk) The internet's favorite cesspool (read: Reddit) has finally grown up, printed real numbers, acted like a real company, and has authorized a $1B buyback like it’s been here before (thanks, keyboard warriors). (Source: Giphy) Q4 revenue came in at $726M, up 70% YoY, and well past what the Street was bracing for. More importantly, Reddit guided Q1 revenue to $595–$605M, which is com...
“I’ve won… but at what cost?” - Andrew Jassey, probs Amazon didn’t wait a full 24 hours before big-dogging Google’s capex flex. On its earnings call yesterday, Amazon basically told all of us sheep that it plans to drop metric f*k tone worth $200 billion on capex in 2026. For context, that’s a 56% jump from 2025, and roughly $50B more big ones than Wall Street thought was even on the table. (Source: Giphy) Naturally, the stock got smo...
Everyone in Big Pharma: “Weight-loss drugs are basically free money now.” Hims & Hers: “Cool, what if we sold Wegovy… but Wish-priced?” Novo Nordisk: “Absolutely not. Lawyer up.” And just like that, Hims & Hers stock has caught yet another Home-Alone-style brick to the face. Shares tripped about 8% after Novo Nordisk publicly called Hims’ newly announced Wegovy-style pill illegal and hinted it was about to unleash the full fury of...
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