Well, there it is. The IMF just downgraded its U.S. growth forecast for 2025, and it’s directing to a complete nosedive. Simply put, from a previously projected 2.7% to a now thoroughly pathetic 1.8%, the IMF is downright hinting at a 0.9 point swing in the wrong direction (with its biggest downgrade among all the advanced economies). Live look at me right now… (Source: Giphy) Why the downgrade? Please God, don’t make me say it again… it’s...
Bitcoin just punched through $90,000 again, and the internet did what it always does when that happens… “WE ARE SO BACK BABY!”. Leading the parade, of course, was Michael Saylor… the man, the myth, the over-leveraged. He fired off an AI-generated image of himself scaling Mount Everest in monk robes with the caption “Bitcoin is climbing.” It’s unclear if the image was meant to inspire or just scare children. Either way, he followed it up by buyin...
You ever have that moment where you say something wildly unpopular, and a few months later, it plays out exactly like you said… and suddenly everyone’s acting like they never called you crazy? That’s me right now, except instead of saying pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza (it doesn’t), I said Nvidia could fall under $100. And what do you know… we’re at $96. But this post isn’t about how I nailed the call (even though I did… no big d...
If you’ve ever tried to cancel an Uber One subscription and felt like you were trapped in a Kafka novel written by a UX designer on acid, congratulations…you weren’t hallucinating. You were just living through a kind of hell that the FTC is now calling “deceptive billing practices.” (Source: Giphy) On Monday, the Trump-Vance FTC finally stopped screwing around and sued Uber for what can only be described as a consumer hostage situation. The feds cla...
China: I don’t want to play with you anymore… China just told the U.S. to shove its LNG where the sun don’t shine… and not in a subtle way. Zero LNG shipments from the U.S. have landed in China for over 10 weeks. More specifically, the last American tanker to show face in a Chinese port was in early February, and another one literally had to divert to Bangladesh mid-route because Beijing dropped a fat 15% tariff on U.S. LNG. Since then, that number has since su...
J-Powell just threw us ALL under the bus… In a speech at the Economic Club of Chicago, the J-Poww made it painfully clear: he’s not here to hold anyone’s hand through the fallout of Trump’s tariff chaos. When asked if there was still a “Fed put” (a.k.a. The idea that the central bank would step in to stop the markets from being yeeted into the abyss) Powell didn’t flinch. “I’m going to say no,” he said, with all the emotion of...
TSMC just dropped their recent earnings, and in a world where half the chip industry is either crying about tariffs or pretending AI will magically save their margins, they did what real winners do: they shut up and delivered. (Source: Giphy) The Taiwanese chip behemoth reported Q1 numbers that didn’t just beat expectations, they embarrassed them. $25.5 billion in revenue and $2.12 earnings per share. That’s up 39% and 58% year-over-year, respectively. And while Wall...
Pour one out for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau—aka the only part of the federal government that gave even half a sh*t about protecting people from predatory banks, shady lenders, and the definition of a Craigslist roommate. It’s gone. Not officially, but functionally. As of this week, the agency is a ghost ship floating in purgatory, gutted by the Trump administration like it owed them money. (Source: Giphy) In short, over 1,400 of the CFPB’s 1,...
When Trump returned to the White House and started throwing around the “T-word” again (tariffs, in case you blacked it out of your mind) I figured Palantir would be the first tech company tossed into the political wood chipper. I mean, it’s a government contractor based in Silicon Valley, backed by Peter Thiel, and somehow manages to make both Republicans and Democrats uncomfortable. That's like being the guy who brings a bluetooth speaker to a funeral. Right now, mu...
So much for the $25K Tesla. Or the “affordable” Model Y. Or whatever stripped-down, feature-bare, cloth-seat, no-second-screen, still-somehow-electric jalopy the Elon mouth breathers thought they’d be driving in 2025. Because, like clockwork… it’s delayed. Again. (Source: Giphy) According to reports, Tesla’s budget EV rollout is now on ice. At best, it’s been pushed to Q3. At worst, we’re talking early 2026. The model in question,...
So, Ryan Cohen—the guy Reddit turned into a messiah during the meme stock mania and who now moonlights as GameStop’s CEO—just got kneecapped in court. A federal judge ruled he can’t weasel out of a lawsuit accusing him of pulling a classic pump-and-dump move with Bed Bath & Beyond stock. The lawsuit, filed by the bankrupt husk of what used to be your mom’s favorite place to buy throw pillows, is trying to claw back $47.2 million in “short-swing” prof...
All we’ve heard lately is the negative side of Trump’s tariffs, the stuff about our investment accounts bleeding out like they got mugged behind a Walgreens. Some folks I know are down 50% (although, to be fair, putting your entire portfolio into nuclear energy stocks isn’t exactly the diversification masterclass Jack Bogle spent his lifetime preaching). But I don’t see very many people talking about the flipside, not all of these tariffs are just economic napalm....
At some point, even the most loyal hype man runs out of excuses. I mean, being a Conor McGregor fan or a Dallas Cowboys diehard is basically a full-time job in denial (lots of big talk and a yearly reminder that maybe it's time to log off and touch some grass). And for Tesla, that “enough is enough” moment just arrived… delivered by none other than Dan Ives, Wall Street’s longtime Musk whisperer, who finally snapped and told Elon what Elon’s been barking at his...
When Trump returned to the White House and started throwing around the “T-word” again (tariffs, in case you blacked it out of your mind) I figured Palantir would be the first tech company tossed into the political wood chipper. I mean, it’s a government contractor based in Silicon Valley, backed by Peter Thiel, and somehow manages to make both Republicans and Democrats uncomfortable. That's like being the guy who brings a bluetooth speaker to a funeral. Right now, mu...
DHL to the U.S.: “F* you f*kball…” As of this weekend, DHL Express (a.k.a. the global logistics machine owned by Germany’s Deutsche Post), is suspending all business-to-consumer shipments to the U.S. that are worth more than $800. Not because they want to, but because America decided to light its own customs process on fire and call it policy. (Source: Giphy) In short, the U.S. recently nuked its customs threshold for informal entries. It u...
Anytime you see headlines like “Gold is soaring” or “Investors are piling into gold,” it’s rarely because the economy is humming along smoothly. It’s usually a signal that the market’s having a bit of a meltdown. And historically, that’s exactly how it plays out. Gold tends to rally when things are... not okay. Think 1929, 1987, 2000, 2008. Even in 2020, during the brief but chaotic COVID crash, investors rushed toward gold like it was the last saf...
This is why we can’t have nice things. Or, more specifically, why you probably shouldn’t have mailed your genetic code to a VC-backed startup that turned your spit into a revenue stream. Why? Well, because 23andme is officially bankrupt, and currently being grilled by Congress like it just got caught selling organs on the dark web. And now, the House Committee on Energy and Commerce is demanding answers about what happens to the company’s most valuable asset: your DNA. (...
https://app.stocks.news/stock-detail/NYSE/DFS/overviewWell, it’s official, the Fed just greenlit Capital One’s $35.3 billion all-stock gobblefest of Discover, and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency rubber-stamped it too. I guess big banks really do get bigger, huh? (Source: Giphy) In short, Capital One first dropped this “definitive agreement” (read: corporate prenup) back in February, and now it’s game on—with the deal set to...
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