Somebody get this market some milk… It turns out yesterday’s jumpscare was actually a preview to exactly what would come our way today (lucky us, amirite?). Stocks slid Tuesday even as inflation finally whispered something soothing into Wall Street’s ear. The Dow got smacked for a clean -1%, while the S&P 500 and Nasdaq both shed about -0.5%. The irony? Inflation came in exactly how traders wanted. Headline CPI clocked in at 2.7% year-over-year, core inflation...
JPMorgan Chase shares moved 3% lower Tuesday, even after the bank delivered fourth-quarter results that came in ahead of Wall Street expectations. On the surface, the numbers looked good. JPMorgan reported adjusted earnings of $5.23 per share, topping the $5 consensus estimate, on revenue of $46.77 billion, also above forecasts. The issue wasn’t actually revenue strength… it was a one-time charge that dragged down reported profit. Net income fell 7% year over year to $13.03 bi...
Bad news, crypto bros… Elizabeth Warren has entered the chat, and she’s not here to pump your bags… Fresh off a call with Donald Trump (after bashing him on live TV for not making grocery prices more affordable), Lizzy apparently found something new to be mad about. Because if there’s one thing Elizabeth Warren hates more than expensive eggs, it’s financial fun. With the energy of an HOA president discovering an unapproved mailbox, Warren fired off a let...
Word of advice: Do not redeem… So it appears Betterment just F’d around and Found Out, as it gave people with a little too much confidence a little too much inbox access. According to Betterment, an unauthorized actor slid into its systems and blasted customers with a crypto scam that basically read: “Your data has been compromised. Please reply with your full seed phrase to recover your wallet.” Sounds legit. (Source: Giphy) Now before any...
While you were busy watching Jordan Love and the Packers commit a felony of a choke job against the Bears… Walmart was busy teaming up with Google to plug its entire shopping universe straight into Google’s AI assistant, Gemini… meaning shoppers will soon be able to discover and buy products without ever doing the classic “open 12 tabs, forget why you’re here, buy nothing” routine. Yes, this is the same store that just announced they’re lockin...
Merck & Co. (NYSE: MRK) is in talks to acquire Revolution Medicines (NASDAQ: RVMD), a cancer-focused biotechnology firm, in a transaction that could value the company at $28 billion to $32 billion, according to a report by the Financial Times. The discussions remain ongoing and a deal has not yet been finalized, with any agreement potentially still several weeks away. Revolution Medicines, which is based in Redwood City, California, is developing a portfolio of novel cancer therapies that...
Ah sh*t, here we go again… I don’t know about you, but anytime I see something being compared to pandemic times, I’m not sure if I should be really excited or concerned that things are about to get really bad. Case in point, U.S. companies sold more than $95 billion in corporate bonds in the first full week of January alone… the busiest week since the Covid panic of May 2020, and the most aggressive start to a year on record. Wall Street calls it “str...
“Sorry, I don’t speak poor” - every insufferable investor on Reddit today Wall Street wrapped up the week the same way it’s spent most of this year: stonks only go up. The S&P 500 closed (+.65%) Friday at yet another all-time high, because apparently the bar for “good enough” in 2026 is just “not actively collapsing.” Payrolls came in light. About 50,000 jobs added in December, missing estimates and continuing the theme we’ve been stuc...
Truist Financial raised its price target on Amneal Pharmaceuticals (NASDAQ: AMRX) to $15 from $14 while maintaining a Buy rating, pointing to continued strength in the affordable medicines market heading into 2026. In a note dated January 7, Truist analysts said they believe the “affordable medicines” theme remains attractive and positions Amneal well for sustained growth. The firm highlighted Amneal’s expanding biosimilars portfolio and improving profitability profile as ke...
Apple shares are creeping toward a milestone the company hasn’t hit in more than 30 years… and yeah, investors are starting to get uncomfortable. Apple slipped as much as 1.1% on Friday, which puts the stock on pace for its eighth straight down day. If it falls again, Apple would match its longest losing streak since 1991 (data compiled by Bloomberg). That’s not something you see often with a stock that’s usually this steady. To be fair, Apple’s had rough str...
“He can’t keep getting away with this!” -me watching Zuck recalibrate his moral compass every inauguration Remember when Zuck was on Rogan’s podcast and he told Rogan he was a big bowhunter, and then Rogan proceeded to ask him what type of bow he uses and Zuck immediately channeled his inner Mitch McConnell on the Senate floor? Because it seems like every move he makes is a pure political move that lacks any authenticity whatsoever? Welcome to his latest move&he...
Apple just told OpenAI “don’t wait up.” Google is once again on the savage train as Sundar & Co. walked into Cupertino, took the keys, and left with Siri. Again. In case you missed it, Apple announced it’s jumping on the bones via Gemini models and cloud tech to power its Foundation Models. Meaning, Siri’s long-promised episode of “Botched” is well underway, and Google has the medicine to make it better. (Source: Giphy) Frien...
Boeing (NYSE: BA) is set to report its highest annual airplane deliveries since 2018, marking a key milestone in the manufacturer’s multi-year effort to stabilize operations after a string of safety crises, production disruptions, and quality lapses. The delivery milestone, expected to be disclosed this week, reflects a more predictable manufacturing cadence following years of constraints tied to the 737 MAX grounding, the COVID-19 pandemic, and a January 2024 midair door-plug blowout t...
Apparently the bar for killing a rally in 2026 is much higher than “DOJ opens a criminal probe into the Fed Chair.” Because on Monday, while the Department of Justice (read: Trump’s henchmen) decided to spice things up by opening a criminal investigation into Jerome Powell, somehow, the S&P 500 notched another fresh all-time high. At one point, traders looked like they were ready to put down their guns and retreat. The S&P was down about 0.5% at the lows&helli...
Shares of Warner Bros are back under pressure (-1.63%) after Paramount Skydance escalated its takeover effort by filing suit against the company and CEO David Zaslav. The lawsuit, filed Monday in Delaware Chancery Court, comes just days after Warner Bros board once again recommended that shareholders reject Paramount’s amended $30-per-share all-cash offer. Paramount also notified shareholders that it intends to nominate directors at WBD’s 2026 annual meeting, setting the stage for...
Shots fired. Hard hat eviscerated. Late last night, (presumably after a club championship golf match) Donnie Oilrig decided Exxon Mobil needed a reminder of who’s really in charge. While cruising on Air Force One, Trump told reporters he’d “probably be inclined” to keep Exxon Mobil out of Venezuela altogether. Why? Because Exxon didn’t sprint enthusiastically enough toward a $100 billion oil invitation that came with a side of regime change and a promise of &l...
If there’s one person who knows “you gotta spend money to lose money,” it’s Masa Son (sup, WeWork)… Masa Son is back on his B.S. and this time he’s got Sam Altman with him at the hip as OpenAI and SoftBank just dropped $1 billion into SB Energy so they can keep feeding the machine. Literally. We’re talking about power plants, transmissions, land, steel, dirt, and the Texas hell-blazin’ heat beating down on servers that hum like the “Final...
Ah sh*t, here we go again… I don’t know about you, but anytime I see something being compared to pandemic times, I’m not sure if I should be really excited or concerned that things are about to get really bad. Case in point, U.S. companies sold more than $95 billion in corporate bonds in the first full week of January alone… the busiest week since the Covid panic of May 2020, and the most aggressive start to a year on record. Wall Street calls it “str...
Streamline your investment strategy with our portfolio synchronization tools. Seamlessly manage and track your holdings across platforms for enhanced
Get Start
