Cathie Wood and Michael Saylor are definitely going to be ordering extra guac when they go to Chipotle tonight. their wild vegas investing styles because their high-roller crypto gambles are paying off big time. Bitcoin rocketing past $105,000 as crypto diehards salivated over rumors that President-elect Trump might make Bitcoin the official US currency (not really). Talk of a U.S. crypto reserve, “crypto czar,” and Trump rolling out pro-Bitcoin policies ASAP had Coinbase up 5...
The Biden administration just pulled a last-minute "take the money and run" move that would make Bernie Madoff proud. But instead of offshore accounts, they're dumping billions ($8.6 Billion to be exact) into America's favorite money-burning EV startups. The big winner is Rivian - you know, that company that makes electric trucks for people who think Tesla is too mainstream. They're set to score a thicc $6.6B loan for their Georgia plant. To put that in perspec...
Not long after he tried to channel his inner Warren Buffett by making a splashy $85-a-share bid for Howard Hughes Corporation, Ackman’s attention has shifted to a pair of government-sponsored enterprises (GSEs) deeply embedded in the U.S. housing market: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (think Zillow addiction, but institutionalized). What’s he on his knees praying will happen? That Donald Trump, a man who once turned a campaign slogan into a real estate empire, will take these mort...
Target’s Q4 sales forecast is up 1.5%, but the profit outlook? Flat as a pancake. Despite record-breaking sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the Minneapolis-based retailer is learning the hard way that deep discounts might bring shoppers through the door, but they won’t help pay the bills. (Source: Giphy) For starters, Target saw a solid boost in holiday traffic, both online and in stores, with comparable sales climbing 2% over the November-December period. Digit...
The Wrap Up... Wall Street had a little less heartburn on Tuesday after the producer price index (PPI)—aka wholesale inflation—came in cooler than expected, sparking a 221-point rally in the Dow. That’s a 0.5% pop for the 30-stock index, while the S&P 500 eked out a modest 0.1% gain. The Nasdaq? Not so much. The tech-heavy index got dragged down 0.2% because Big Tech decided to once again ruin everyone's day....
We’re gonna talk about a topic that’s barely getting any attention: the chip sector (wink, wink) . It’s the lifeblood of everything from your overpriced smartphone to the AI bots writing cringy LinkedIn posts and spamming my inbox with “Let’s connect!” messages. But right now, it feels like someone spilled their piping hot latte on the motherboard. Nvidia is down 13% in the last five days, Taiwan Semiconductor is off 8%, and YouTube’s top finance video i...
The bougie athleisure brand that convinced an entire generation $128 for stretchy pants is totally reasonable just proved all the haters wrong. Lululemon announced this morning that they expect Q4 sales to hit somewhere between $3.56B and $3.58B for a 11-12% rise. And before you @ me about the price tag… have you seen their profit margins? Warren Buffett is somewhere in Omaha right now wondering why he's been wasting time with Coca-Cola when he could've been investing in pr...
H&E Equipment Services woke up Tuesday and chose violence—the good kind, if you’re a shareholder. The stock more than doubled in value after United Rentals decided to whip out its checkbook and drop $4.8 billion to acquire the industrial equipment rental company. That’s $92 per share in glorious, cold, hard cash—over 100% higher than H&E’s Monday close. Bigly. (Source: Giphy) In short, United Rentals, the biggest name in equipment renta...
There was a time when Moderna was the hottest thing since GameStop sh*tposts on Reddit. Yeah, those days are officially over. The company that turned your aunt into an armchair immunologist just forecasted a depressing $1.5 to $2.5 billion sales drop for 2025. On Monday, Moderna dropped a forecast bomb that sent its stock plummeting. We're talking a 16%+ drop to around $35 a share … prices we haven't seen since April 2020, back when we were all doing pushups from home...
Fractyl Health Announces Positive Initial Clinical Results Demonstrating Weight Maintenance Following GLP-1 Discontinuation and Revita Procedure in First Patient of the REVEAL-1 Cohort January 13, 2025 07:00 ET Company also announces strong enrollment progress for REMAIN-1 weight maintenance pivotal study High demand from patients and physicians indicates significant interest in REMAIN-1 study and GLP-1 discontinuation; mid-point analysis on-track and anticipated in Q2 2025...
Bumble’s stock has been swiping left on success since the beginning… no love at first sight here. The once-hot IPO of 2021, boasting a $7.7 billion market cap, has now been ghosted down to an awkward $847 million. That’s an 89% drop for those keeping track of heartbreaks. But what’s Bumble’s plan to swipe right on a comeback? Bring back founder Whitney Wolfe Herd as CEO in March, because apparently, when in doubt, the founder card is the saviour. And while y...
Well, it turns out Hino Motors, the commercial truck arm of Toyota, decided it wanted to live its best Dieselgate life, and now it’s paying the price—$1.6 billion to be exact. That’s the bill for pleading guilty to a multi-year conspiracy to fake emissions data and skirt U.S. and California environmental regulations. Spoiler: the EPA and Justice Department just told Hino to “get rekt”. (Source: Giphy) In short, from 2010 to 2022, Hino apparentl...
The FDA just dropped a bombshell that’s sure to send cigarette execs nervously chain-smoking behind the Waffle House. Zyn, the synthetic nicotine pouch brand that’s become a staple for lacrosse bros and finance interns alike, has officially gotten the FDA’s blessing after years of operating in a legal gray area. Yessir, your favorite “lip pillows” are no longer the bad boys of the tobacco aisle—they’re now the teacher’s pet, baby. (Sou...
Even Jensen Huang, NVIDIA’s leather-jacketed oracle, couldn’t contain his excitement about agentic AI at a recent conference, calling it a “multitrillion-dollar opportunity.” And let’s be honest, when Huang… who usually goes pants off for hours about GPUs and quantum computing like they’re the cure for everything… takes time to hype something happening right now, it’s worth listening. (Especially since his quantum computing dreams are, as h...
Wall Street’s biggest banks are back baby and apparently excited about Trump dancing back into the Oval Office next week. Bank of America and Morgan Stanley stole the show with Q4 profits more than doubling, thanks to a revival in investment banking and trading. Despite the solid numbers, Bank of America’s stock slipped 2%, while Morgan Stanley managed a 2% gain. In total, six major banks, including JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, and Citigroup, raked in $36 billion in Q4 pro...
Well, this is awkward. TSMC just crashed the pre-inauguration party with some absolutely monster earnings (shares popped 6%), and the timing couldn't be more perfect… or uncomfortable, depending on which side of the Pacific you're sitting on. The world's favorite chip manufacturer somehow managed to increase profits by a mind-boggling 57%, all while President-elect Trump is probably practicing his "tough on trade" speech in front of the mirror. He...
Seven years ago, Carlos Ghosn (the man who saved Nissan from bankruptcy) became its most infamous fugitive, fleeing Japan in a literal box. Well, today Nissan is still paying the price… not in court but in profits. The Japanese automaker just reported an awfully impressive 90% profit drop compared to last year. Let’s turn back time to 2018. Nissan thriving under Ghosn’s leadership. He orchestrated a global alliance with Renault and Mitsubishi, turned Nissan’s fina...
Pour one out for the short-seller that made fraud exposés feel like a Netflix docuseries. Nathan Anderson, founder of Hindenburg Research and the man who gave us gems like the Nikola Rolling Truck Scandal and the Icahn Enterprises Stock Plunge Special, announced on Wednesday that he’s shutting down shop. After seven years of calling out corporate B.S., Anderson said, “We’re done here,” and walked off into the sunset—presumably to start a DJ career in Bali, if...
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