Zuck Passes the Meta Collection Plate for $95B As His Chip Suppliers ‘Chip In’

Money itself isn’t lost or made, it’s simply transferred from your brokerage account to Jensen Huang…

The company that spent $148.6B buying back its own stock from 2021 to 2025 is now…* checks notes*… selling it.

On Monday, Meta said it plans to raise straight cash, homie, via a massive stonk sale. $95B to be exact. Per Meta, the money will fund AI infrastructure and “personal superintelligence” (whatever tf that means). Shares slid 1.6% (spoiler: dilution usually pisses off investors).

So who’s going to pony up? Meta is selling about $35B up front: $22.5B of common stock through Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs (via forward sales, so the cash shows up later) and $12.5B of preferred shares that convert to common in 2029. Those will trade under the ticker METAM (gesundheit). Then, starting early next year, an at-the-market program will drip out up to $60B more.

Translation: Yes, Meta just copied Google’s homework (and yes, we copied ours too). In June, Google ran the same playbook (common stock, converts, an at-the-market program) to raise $85B. Only difference? Google’s anchor investor was Berkshire, and Greg Abel said he was good for $10B. Meta’s? Its dealers chip suppliers.

Of course, Nvidia, AMD, and Broadcom told Meta they’re interested in buying up to $5B of the stock, “severally and not jointly” (read: not a threesome). Friendly reminder, Meta pays all three to build its AI gear. In February, it agreed to buy up to 6 gigawatts of AMD’s GPUs and, for its troubles, got warrants for up to 160M AMD shares at a penny apiece. Broadcom’s CEO, Hock Tan, was on Meta’s board as recently as this spring. The incestual clusterf*ck that is the AI ecosystem just got a little more incestual.

As for why Meta needs the cash, it’s planning to spend a sh*tload significant amount of dinero on AI this year (think: $135-145B in capex). In Q3 alone, capex ($34.9B) ran higher than the $32.8B in cash its business actually brought in. Woof. That money buys four “superclusters” with more than a gigawatt of capacity each, and Goldman thinks AI capex across the industry could hit $7.6T from 2026 through 2031. Negative free cash flow, you say? The limit does not exist.

Oh, and just to top it off, that $60B at-the-market program is all nonvoting Class C stock… which, you know, is the share class Meta invented last week. Mr. Steal Your Vote (read: Mark Zuckerberg) already controls about 60% of Meta’s votes. He owns roughly 13% of the actual company. The gap comes from his Class B shares, which get 10 votes apiece. Meaning, the baby back b*tches (read: retail investors) foot the bill, and Zuck keeps the votes.

Naturally, Zuck went all “hold my beer” and is about to unleash a Peter North-sized load of new stock on the market. So yeah… place your bets accordingly, friends. 

Until next time! 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Google and Meta as mentioned in the article.