Winter Comes for Verizon… Schulman’s “Game of Phones” Claims 13,000 Workers

If you’re one of the brave souls still overpaying for wireless and rocking Verizon… don’t bother calling customer service. There’s a good chance the person who would’ve answered the phone is already packing a cardboard box. According to new reports, Verizon is about to chop off 13,000 heads like it’s hosting a medieval budget meeting sponsored by Game of Thrones.

This is the same company that used to make commercials about having “the network,” and now it’s restructuring so violently it feels like they brought in McKinsey, Bain, BCG, and that Biz Ops bro from YouTube who promises he can “fix your operations in 90 days or your money back.”

Again, let me reiterate, Verizon is swinging the axe on more than 13,000 people… which, fun fact, is roughly 13% of everyone who works there. The biggest one-shot layoff in company history. I genuinely thought Verizon didn’t even have 13,000 people left… yet here we are. CEO Dan Schulman is literally doing that Lord Farquad meme in real life.

Oh and if that’s not enough, Verizon’s franchising 179 of its corporate stores like they’re pivoting into the sandwich business. But don’t worry… they’re also unveiling a $20 million “career transition fund,” which works out to about $1,538 per laid-off employee. Just enough to cover a month of rent… in 1998. But hey, it’s at least something.

You might assume this bloodbath is thanks to AI replacing everyone. But Verizon sprinted to the podium to insist, “No no, this isn’t about AI.” Truly precious, considering the next sentence was basically, “Anyway, here are some AI skills you’ll need after we fire you.” So not AI-related… except in literally every way.

(Source: CBS News)

The real problem is Verizon is starting to look a lot like Dunder Mifflin trying to compete in a world that’s already moved on. The wireless market is a ruthless price war now, everyone’s cutting costs, and Verizon is giving off “regional paper supplier in denial” energy. They added a sad 44,000 subscribers last quarter, AT&T beat them, and T-Mobile racked up a million like it was nothing. Try to picture Kevin James in full Mall Cop form trying to outrun Usain Bolt after two margaritas… that’s Verizon chasing market share. Meanwhile, cable companies stitched together dirt-cheap wireless plans using rented networks, and customers shrugged and said, “Good enough.”

This is all happening while Verizon is still limping around from years of massive spending sprees: $52 billion blown on 5G spectrum, $20 billion on Frontier, and another $6 billion on TracFone. Imagine running up a $78 billion tab to fight T-Mobile and still getting cooked.

Verizon insists this whole downsizing spree is an “opportunity to regain leadership,” which is hilarious. What’s happening here isn’t leadership reclaiming… it’s survival mode. Verizon is acting like a company preparing for a long, ugly trench war in a market where growth is shrinking, competitors are vicious, and customers would rather pay $40 for 5G that works half the time than $100 for 5G that works half the time.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Verizon and AT&T as mentioned in the article.