Washington Just Woke Up Ethereum From a 4-Year Nap… And the Suits Are Already Elbowing In

I was on the phone with a buddy the other day… the one I call when I need to feel better about my own financial decisions. Back in the winter, he tossed over $200K of his savings into altcoins. Not because he’s some crypto whale or tech founder. Just… a very expensive lottery ticket. So I asked how it was going, and without missing a beat, he goes: “Oh, I don’t even check it. I know it’s down at least 70%, I’m not worried. Bitcoin’s doing well, Ethereum will pop off soon, and then altcoins follow.” (Which roughly translates to: the house is on fire, but he’s convinced a surprise thunderstorm is gonna roll in and take care of it.)

To be fair… he’s not totally wrong. Because this week, something big happened. Something that actually could set the stage for the next major move in crypto. For the first time ever, the total crypto market cap surged past $4 trillion… and this time it’s not because TikToker’s are shilling coins at a rate that would make Bernie Madoff uncomfortable. It was real momentum. The kind that came from actual legislation getting pushed through Washington.

Every crypto bagholder’s dreams are coming true… Late yesterday, the House passed the GENIUS Act… a sweeping federal bill aimed at finally putting some structure around stablecoins. And just like that, Congress may have accidentally kickstarted the next leg of the bull run (after only a decade of pretending crypto was just for nerds, criminals, and guys named Chad who peaked in 2021).

(Source: CBS News)

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if the U.S. government stopped treating crypto like a malfunctioning slot machine in Reno and started treating it like a legitimate piece of the financial system… well, here you go. The bill lays out federal and state-level oversight for dollar-backed stablecoins… a $265 billion chunk of the market that’s been floating in legal limbo for years.

And the suits are finally paying attention. Citigroup says the stablecoin market could swell to $3.7 trillion by 2030… assuming the Wall Street sharks don’t pump and dump it first. And with Trump expected to sign the bill the regulatory greenlight is officially blinking. Naturally, investors (sorry, degenerate gamblers with Coinbase apps) started buying. But the real action wasn’t in Bitcoin (it’s basically the IBM of crypto now… reliable, boring, and your dad owns it in one of his index funds). The real juice came from Ethereum and the altcoins (finally).

For instance, in just the last five days alone ETH’s up 22%. And yesterday, Ethereum ETFs actually brought in more daily inflows than Bitcoin for the first time ever… including a fat $600 million flowing into BlackRock’s ETH fund (which is hilarious, considering BlackRock CEO Larry Fink once called Bitcoin an “index of money laundering”).

Uniswap jumped 20%, Solana added 5%, and even Coinbase hit a new all-time intraday high. First time it’s done that since 2021, back when NFTs were all the rage and people thought “Web3 strategist” was a real job title (putting the great tulip bubble of 1637 to absolute shame). So yeah, it’s finally happening, ETH is starting to pull ahead. Wolfe Research even dropped the phrase “trend reversal”... pointing out it’s now had its strongest two-week run since the summer of 2021 (aka the last time anyone felt good about checking their crypto wallet).

And it wasn’t just one bill. The House also passed the CLARITY Act, a broader effort to give the entire crypto market an actual regulatory framework. That’s now heading to the Senate… and if it passes, we’re not talking vibes and Reddit threads anymore. We’re talking full-blown financial infrastructure (aka the kind of boring stuff that makes institutional money come running).

Back to my friend… yes, he’s still deeply underwater on his altcoin bag (which includes at least two coins that haven’t updated their roadmap since 2022). But thanks to this rally, maybe he’s only down 65% instead of 70%... which, in crypto terms, is basically breakeven.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.