Warner Bros. Discovery Is Doing the “Splits” And Investors Are Clearly Here For It–Shares Soar…

So it appears, Warner Bros. Discovery just announced it’s going full Gwyneth-Paltrow-conscious-uncoupling… only with a lot more debt and a lot less Goop. By mid-2026, Warner Bros. will split itself into two public companies: one for the streaming-and-studios arm (HBO Max, DC, Warner Bros. films, and whatever “prestige” hasn’t been sacrificed on the altar of cost-cutting), and a second for the cable fossil pit (CNN, TNT Sports, and enough reality TV to make your brain leak out your ears). 

(Source: Giphy) 

The best part is that CEO David Zaslav grabs the streaming and studios throne, so he can keep greenlighting Batman spin-offs and pretending he hasn’t run his company into the ground since his debut (shares are down -55% since Zaslav took the reins). Meanwhile, current CFO Gunnar Wiedenfels inherits the global networks mess. 

As for the financial clusterf**k of this shindig, Warner Bros. is dragging around $37 billion in debt like it’s auditioning for the Biggest Loser. And you know what happens when you split a giant debt piñata in half? You definitely don’t get more candy. The company’s “solution,” if you can call it that, is to take out a $17.5 billion short-term loan… not to invest in anything remotely futuristic, but to pacify bondholders who are eyeing the exits like it’s the last chopper out of Saigon. 

(Source: CNBC) 

And yet… Wall Street went full degenerate when the news dropped. WBD shares popped over 9% in premarket trading (with shares holding above 10% at the time of this writing). Meaning, this is either the most optimistic thing I’ve seen all year, or investors are so bored of watching Warner Bros. stock bleed out that any narrative change feels like hope. Reminder: since the Discovery-Time Warner shotgun marriage in 2021, WBD’s market cap has been cut in half, which takes real talent in a sector where Netflix prints billions streaming reruns of Suits.

But, but, but… the big fat caveat of this deal? Nobody has explained who eats what chunk of the debt, or how the “global networks” company isn’t just a slow-motion trainwreck for anyone too lazy to switch to streaming. But Zaslav wants you to believe this is about “empowering iconic brands.” Sure. And I’m the CEO of OnlyFans. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Meaning the financial reality is this: Warner Bros. is betting it can sell Wall Street on two mediocre companies instead of one Titanic. The debt is still lurking. The streaming wars are still a knife fight in a dark alley. And if you think CNN is suddenly going to become relevant to anyone under 50, you probably believe Quibi is coming back too.  

But then again, who cares about all the negatives when WBD shares are absolutely mooning today. In the meantime, keep your eyes on this story and keep your eyes on WBD. Investors are clearly here for the news… and it’ll be interesting to see how long this delusional uptrend lasts. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Netflix as mentioned in the article.