Wall Street Rips Five Straight Record Highs, Intel Implodes While Charter Gets Stripped for Parts…

If you blinked this week, the market printed five all-time highs, incinerated a cable company, and threw Intel into the AI unemployment line… all before the Fed even said a word. 

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The S&P 500 notched its 13th record close of 2025 on Thursday, closing up 0.4% and finishing above 6,300 for the first time. The Nasdaq did its usual Red Bull shuffle… up 0.2%, tapping a fresh intraday high, still high on Alphabet fumes. The Dow, meanwhile, jolted 208 points higher, now just shy of its December 2024 peak. Translation: The boomers were cashin’ checks and snappin’ necks today. 

Me: “Alright, grandpa… let’s get you back to bed.” 

As for Wall Street’s weeklong sugar rush, it was fueled mostly by solid earnings, AI euphoria, and somewhat stable inflation. But mostly earnings. In fact, according to FactSet, 82% of S&P 500 companies that have reported so far have “beat expectations.” Meaning, analysts once again tripped over the low bar they set for themselves. Next week though, it’s the colosseum on Wall Street: Meta, Apple, Amazon, and the rest of the so-called “Magnificent Seven” take the stage alongside the Federal Reserve, which is widely expected to do… absolutely nothing. 

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U.S. Bank Wealth Management’s Terry Sandven called the backdrop “favorable,” citing stable inflation, range-bound rates, and rising earnings. However, what he really meant to say though is the casino is still open, come place your bets. Specifically on Palantir, who notched +3% today, and is now worth more than Home Depot and P&G. What’s that? The CIA’s favorite spreadsheet just leapfrogged two of the most iconic American brands by feeding the AI narrative beast until it burst? Precisely.

In other news, Tesla rebounded +4% after Business Insider said its long-teased robotaxi service might debut this weekend in San Francisco. Spoiler: Don’t hold your breath. Deckers Outdoors, on the other hand, mooned even harder (+11%) after foreigners remembered that UGGs and Hokas still exist… a.k.a. International sales carried the company's earnings. 

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Elsewhere, Intel fell -9%, laying off 15% of its staff while scaling back chip plant construction. The same week the Nasdaq hit new all-time highs. Not to be outdone, Charter Communications, imploded -18%, the worst day in its history. Turns out losing 117,000 broadband customers and 80,000 video subscribers is bad. Who knew? Apparently, Comcast (-5%), Altice (-9%), and EchoStar (-2%) did as they also fell into the toilet upon the news. Which to be fair, makes sense… especially considering Cable TV officially feels like that guy who still burns CDs in 2025.

Additionally, Coinbase is bleeding out for the fifth day straight, threatening to snap its longest win streak since the pre-FTX era. Cathie Wood dumped $12 million worth of shares like it was low-grade dog food and rotated into some Peter Thiel-backed Ether spinoff. Oh, and Bitcoin is down slightly to $116,700… all while Michael Saylor’s out here issuing junk-grade preferred stock worth $2.5 billion to buy more of it. 

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In the end, this week was a helluva week. Will we see the same kind of meltup on Monday? Who knows, but considering earnings are hot, and Big Tech is reporting… it’s going to be volatile regardless. Meaning, keep your head on the swivel and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Intel, Tesla, Amazon, Meta, Alphabet, Apple, and Proctor and Gamble as mentioned in the article.