Trump’s New Crypto Strategy Makes Michael Saylor Look Like a Risk-Averse Grandpa

It’s not exactly a hot take to say we live in a copycat world. Everyone’s out here stealing ideas like it’s a group project and no one wants to do the work. TikTok got hot? Now every app has vertical videos. Elon bought Twitter, torched it, renamed it “X,” and handed blue checks to anyone with $8 and a fragile ego. Zuck clapped back with Threads… pretty much Twitter on Xanax, where anything remotely fun gets filtered out like a curse word at a church camp. Netflix used to kill cable, now they’re reviving it with ads, live sports, and shows that drop weekly like it’s 2006 again.

But while most copycats are chasing clout and ad dollars, one copycat play in the finance world has become the stuff of legend: Michael Saylor’s “just buy as much Bitcoin as humanly possible and never sell” strategy. The man turned a sleepy software company into a full-blown crypto vault with over $62 billion in BTC, all funded by equity and debt. And now, in a move that sounds like satire but isn’t, the President of the United States is trying to do the same thing. Yes, in 2025, Trump is officially copying Michael Saylor. Because of course he is.

According to reports that Trump called “fake news,” Trump Media & Technology Group (the parent company of Truth Social and one of the most unhinged stocks on the market) is planning to raise $3 billion. Not for new features. Not to expand operations. Not to, you know, become profitable. But to buy crypto. Straight up.

The breakdown is two billion in fresh equity and one billion more via convertible bonds. The announcement could come as soon as this week during Bitcoin 2025 in Las Vegas… a crypto lovefest that will also feature Vice President JD Vance, Don Jr., Eric Trump, and David Sacks, who has apparently been promoted from PayPal mafia member to Trump’s unofficial crypto czar. It’s Michael Saylor cosplay with a presidential seal.

This isn’t the Trump family’s first foray into the world of digital funny money either. Between NFT trading cards, memecoins, and a stake in a crypto mining operation, they’ve been sniffing around this space for a while. Now, they’re going full throttle. Earlier this year, Trump Media announced it plans to launch a financial platform centered around crypto ETFs. They're reportedly partnering with Crypto.com to bring these products to life (nothing says “financial stability” like a partnership with a company that once paid Matt Damon to tell us fortune favors the brave… right before crypto crashed 80%).

And in case you were wondering whether the ethics folks are chill with this… they’re not. Trump, fresh off winning re-election last year, transferred his $3 billion stake in the company to a trust controlled by Don Jr. That’s about as clean-cut as my cousin saying he’s “on a break” from his girlfriend… while staying at her place rent-free.

Meanwhile, DJT stock is floating around $25 a share with a nearly $6 billion market cap. Add in a $3 billion crypto war chest and they’re basically betting the whole company on Bitcoin continuing to climb. Which, to be fair, it has. Bitcoin just hit a new all-time high of $109,000. But as every bagholder from 2022 will tell you: what goes up in crypto… usually crashes three months later when the vibes wear off.

So is this brilliant? Insane? A marketing stunt? Honestly, probably all three. But in a world where MicroStrategy is worth $100 billion for owning Bitcoin and being loud about it, it makes sense that Trump (maybe the loudest human alive) is taking the same playbook and cranking the volume to 11. It’s not original. But it might not have to be.

Because in the copycat economy, the winners aren’t the ones who invent something new. They’re the ones who copy something old, glue their name on it, and shout louder than everyone else. And when it comes to shouting, Trump’s been in a league of his own for decades.

PS: It’s a mess out there.

One day the market’s ripping, the next day it’s Black Monday all over again. Recent earning’s reports have been a total coin flip. One stock beats and explodes 30%… the next misses by a penny and gets sent to the Shadow Realm. And through it all, everyone’s begging for Jerome Powell to finally cave and cut rates.

But underneath all the panic headlines (“Inflation too sticky!” “Recession imminent!” “Tariffs round 4 incoming!”) something wild is happening…

We’re seeing violent price action. Especially in the small-cap space, where low floats and high anxiety are creating the perfect recipe for 100%+ pops before lunchtime. Some of these names are moving 200%+ in under 24 hours… and to our knowledge, NO ONE else is covering them.

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