Trump’s Midterm Black Eye Sparks Bipartisan Energy Breakthrough (Hyperscalers Gets Watt’s Coming)

Trump: *gets absolutely REKT in the midterms*

Also Trump: “Perhaps the Democrats have some good ideas.”

Well, well, well. Look who suddenly discovered fiscal responsibility after getting politically waterboarded by the American electorate. 

On Monday, the Senate voted 73-25 to advance a Trump-backed infrastructure bill designed to make it easier to build everything from power plants and pipelines to mines and data centers.

The catch?

The Marky Mark’s and Elon’s of the world would actually have to start paying for their own grid upgrades.

Tragic. Thoughts and prayers for the hyperscalers.

For those keeping score at home, DC’s finest are now attempting to solve two problems at once: America's increasingly constipated infrastructure permitting system and the small matter of AI companies hogging enough juice to make the Hoover Dam request paid time off.

And remarkably, Congress may have found a solution that doesn't involve robbing taxpayers blind adding another zero to the national debt. 

Quick, check the carbon monoxide detectors on Capitol Hill.

The legislation, dubbed the Bipartisan American Affordability and Jobs Act (BAAJA), would overhaul several federal permitting laws, including the Clean Water Act and Endangered Species Act, to accelerate construction of critical infrastructure.

Translation: Less time begging Washington for permission to pour concrete. More time actually pouring it.

And unlike most things Congress proposes, which typically have the life expectancy of a goldfish at a fraternity house, this one has some serious momentum.

Trump endorsed the package Sunday, calling it a "BIG WIN for U.S. ENERGY INDEPENDENCE and DOMINANCE."

The Senate followed up Monday with a 73-25 procedural vote to advance the legislation.

Trump supporting bipartisan legislation? WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL DONALD? 

Building the necessary power plants and transmission lines can take years thanks to federal permitting requirements, environmental reviews, and enough government paperwork to qualify as a renewable forest.

Meanwhile, AI developers are spending billions on chips that are considerably less useful when there's nowhere to plug them in.

That's essentially the problem facing America's hyperscalers.

And BAAJA is Washington's attempt to finally do something about it.

Under the proposal, federal reviews for natural gas plants, solar farms, pipelines, and other energy projects would be streamlined to accelerate construction.

But here's the part your electric company might actually appreciate.

Data center developers would be required to pay for the additional power infrastructure and grid improvements their projects demand.

Meaning, no more treating the American ratepayer like a corporate expense account with a Social Security number (allegedly).

In other words, Sugar-daddy Jensen gets to keep cranking out GPUs. Scam Altman gets his electricity. Zuck gets to keep improving everyone’s addiction to Meta Muse.

And Grandma can finally stop b*tching about her electric bill long enough to remind everyone that nobody wants to work anymore. 

Everybody wins. Except the poor intern responsible for processing 73 million federal permitting documents.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Meta as mentioned in the article.