Well, it’s no secret that in less than a month since claiming the Iron Throne, Donald Trump and his administration are snappin’ necks and cashin’ checks. But his latest executive order feels like a bad, yet weirdly good rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody that screams of ambition, chaos, and destined to leave everyone arguing whether it’s genius or a trainwreck. In short, the man of every hour of the day, signed an executive order to create a U.S.-run sovereign wealth fund—a concept usually reserved for oil-rich nations or fiscal unicorns with cash surpluses coming out of their ears. The U.S., meanwhile, is running a deficit so massive it might as well be listed on the S&P 500.
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However, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent announced that this mythical fund will be up and running within a year, promising to fund everything from highways to airports to TikTok. Yes, TikTok. Our government—one step closer to owning the platform where teenagers do viral dances and middle-aged boomers embarrass themselves. If this is what “economic development” looks like, we’re living in a simulation, and someone just accidentally clicked “Hard Mode.”
Now all jokes aside, on the surface this sounds like a great idea: Monetize the “asset side of the U.S. balance sheet” and use that capital to fund projects that will benefit everyday Americans. But still—where’s the money coming from? The government deficit is massive—and while Trump has floated “tariffs” and other business savvy ideas, Sovereign wealth funds typically rely on surplus cash. Think Norway’s $1.7 trillion oil fund or Singapore’s Temasek. But the U.S.? We’ve been busy giving all of that to Ukraine or financing our existence with Treasury debt and vibes.
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Sovereign wealth funds are supposed to project stability and long-term planning. The U.S., on the other hand, hasn’t exactly screamed “steady hand at the wheel” over the last four years. Meaning launching a fund like this without a fiscal surplus is like starting a hedge fund with maxed-out credit cards—it’s bold, sure, but also borderline delusional. And the governance? Trump tapped Benjamin Black, son of Apollo Global co-founder Leon Black, to potentially lead this thing. You wanna know my vote? Congress gives the greenlight on this, Trump axes Benjamin Black and gives the reins to Nancy and Paul Pelosi LOL (Imagine the kinds of returns we’ll see from their insider trading skills.)
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On the other hand, we have the TikTok angle here. Trump suggested the fund could be used to buy the app outright, because as we’ve all been told, owning a social media platform is now part of national security strategy. Let’s all take a moment to imagine the U.S. government managing an algorithm designed to boost thirst traps and lip-syncing videos. Who’s running this thing? The Pentagon? The Department of Agriculture? Paul Pelosi with a burner phone? The memes practically write themselves, and they’re already funnier than anyone on Capitol Hill.
Critics, of course, are already calling this a fever dream. Colin Graham of Robeco basically laughed it off, saying the economic logic here is nonexistent. But at its core, this move is pure Trump aura. Love him or hate him, the man knows business and loves challenges. For instance, the guy has completely rewritten the fuels of the presidency, defying naysayers at every turn. And if his recent tariff war that lasted exactly two minutes with Mexico and Canada tells us anything it’s this: the man has ice in his veins.
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In the end, this is just another move of Trumps to make America great again and putting the mechanisms in place to ensure it happens. Now again, whether it happens or completely falls off the rails here, only time will tell. But regardless, it’s clear Trump is playing a game on a scale most politicians can’t even comprehend—and he’s out to win bigly at all costs.
In the meantime, keep an eye on this story and place your bets accordingly. And don’t think for one second I was kidding about the Pelosi’s. Did you read our latest article on their Nvidia trades? Illegal? Possibly. Impressive? Absolutely LOL. As always, stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time…
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