Tim Cook Files “Missing Persons Report” After Zuck Hijacks Apple’s Design Chief in Broad Moonlight

Zuck hasn’t pulled off a heist this clean since the Winklevoss twins trusted him with a handshake, you guys…

Because in what can only be described as Silicon Valley’s version of Lebron leaving Cleveland for Miami, Meta just poached Alan freaking Dye (the man who has been designing Apple’s soul since 2015) and Cupertino is giving major “crying in the Whole Foods parking lot” energy right now.

According to multiple reports, Dye is out. Gone. Teleporting his talents straight to Meta’s headquarters where, presumably, Mark Zuckerberg is already waiting in a black turtleneck whispering, “Call me Tim.”

For reference, Dye has been at Apple since 2006 and leading the entire human interface design team since 2015… a role he only got after Jony Ive left, which was already a wound Apple never fully stitched up. 

(Source: Reuters)

Obviously, Tim Cook tried to put a glossy finish on it by announcing that longtime designer Stephen Lemay would step in and reminding everyone that Lemay has designed pretty much every Apple interface since 1999. Translation: “No, I’m not crying… I just accidentally got shampoo in my eyes this morning.” 

And make no mistake, this is exactly the kind of drama Zuck lives for. Meta has been in full goblin mode this year, hoarding AI talent like he’s building a Super Bowl NFL roster.

Remember when Sam Altman flippantly accused Meta of waving around $100 million signing bonuses like the Saudi’s over at LIV Golf. This feels like that. A little unhinged. A little too generous. Entirely “never again will we be the butt of tech history.”

Because Zuck isn’t just building hardware anymore. He’s building AI-first consumer devices and wants Meta to be the company that defines what the next generation of tech feels like in your hands, on your face, and eventually probably in your bloodstream knowing him. 

So naturally, he grabbed the guy who defined the last decade of Apple’s entire ecosystem. Dye will now lead design for all Meta hardware, software, and AI interfaces starting December 31st. And as if that weren’t dramatic enough, he’s bringing along Billy Sorrentino (another top Apple design director) because why take one artery when you can take two?

The timing could not be worse for Apple. Executives are slipping out the back door at a pace that’s starting to feel… alarming. Jeff Williams bowed out. John Giannandrea stepped away. Dan Riccio checked out last fall. And now the person responsible for Apple’s entire design DNA is leaving during the most pivotal moment in the AI era.

Meanwhile, Meta is on a heater. Their smart glasses are taking off. They’re building wearables, mixing AI into everything that touches a human face, and aggressively positioning themselves as the hardware company of the future. 

Zuck has decided Meta will not be the “social media company with a headset.” It will be the Apple of AI. And now the Apple of Apple is working for him. Apple keeps insisting design is “fundamental to who we are,” and yet… the people who built that identity keep walking out the door. Not a good look for Timmy.

Don’t get it twisted… Zuck didn’t poach a random designer. He stole a decade of Apple’s DNA. I guess all I can say now is… your move, Tim Apple.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Meta and Apple as mentioned in the article.