The Nicotine Daddy of Wall Street Just Showed Why They Are Recession Proof—Earnings Go Burr…

It’s been one day since Phillp Morris dropped its Q1 numbers, and let’s just say—Wall Street’s nicotine daddy is single handedly carrying the friggin’ team this week. The Stamford-based cigarette-slinging, nicotine-pouch-pushing beast posted $1.69 a share in adjusted earnings, blowing past the $1.61 estimate, which, by the way, was already optimistic. 

(Source: Giphy) 

And revenue? $9.3 billion. Beat again. And not surprising to anyone, Zyn is the only reason this thing is still printing cash like it’s the early 2000s and nobody’s heard of vaping yet. Meaning, if you’re still clutching your pearls about investing in tobacco… Well, you are leaving money on the table. In short, Philip Morris is legit gutting the past and monetizing the future, one tiny lip pillow at a time. 

For instance, Zyn shipments jumped 53% year over year, with over 200 million cans shipped (in just Q1?! That’s crazy dawg). Now of course, the company still sells cigarettes. The “combustibles,” as they’re now politely labeled in earnings calls. That side of the business is still alive, if only because the world’s full of people who still treat lung cancer like a lifestyle. But it’s not the future. Philip Morris knows it. That’s why they’re unloading their cigar business, a.k.a. the one they picked up in the Swedish Match deal. 

(Source: IBD) 

What’s more is that they also raised Q2 guidance while half the market’s still driving in reverse. Full-year EPS now projected between $7.01 and $7.14. Conservative? Yes, but honestly, you don’t need to over promise when your product is literally addictive LOL. So yeah, say what you want but clearly, nicotine sells. Always has. Always will. And the best part? Philip Morris just figured out how to make it cleaner, cheaper, and legally addictive again without the moral panic of secondhand smoke. 

As far as the stock goes, it’s up 39% YTD, making it the third-best performer of the S&P 500. But really, it’s not because people suddenly love tobacco again. It’s because Philip Morris pivoted while everyone else was still losing brain cells over ESG compliance reports. PM didn’t do that. They just found the next thing people couldn’t stop putting in their mouths and scaled it. 

(Source: Barrons) 

Oh, and just to twist the knife deeper into the competition, IQOS is also coming to the U.S. They’re rolling it out in Austin, because of course they are. FDA approval is on deck, and once it lands, Philip Morris is going to shove heated tobacco into the American market like it’s 1965 again. Bigly. 

In the end, maybe you don’t want to hold a tobacco stock. Which is understandable, but you can’t deny that while the rest of the market is sweating with uncertainty, PM is literally printing. And if you think this is the top, you clearly haven't seen what a 19-year-old finance intern with a six-can-a-day Zyn habit looks like. Give it a year. You’ll stop asking if this is sustainable and start wondering why the hell you didn’t buy more. But hey, that’s just me.

(Source: Giphy) 

For now, keep your eyes on Phillip Morris and place your bets accordingly. This is a company with a moat, and everyone is starting to realize it. Until next time, friends… 

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.