The Final Tally: Two Market Indicators CRASH in Terrifying Warning of Economic Disaster…

The S&P 500 just barely avoided a five-week losing streak, clawing its way to a 0.08% gain on Friday—which is like winning a marathon by tripping over the finish line. The Nasdaq popped 0.5%, while the Dow inched up by a humble 32 points.

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Oh, and if you thought Friday’s quadruple witching (where $4.7 trillion in options and futures expired) was going to make things spicy, you were right. Markets had traders starting to yeet their portfolios, that is, until a last-minute Trump tariff “flexibility” tease helped pull stocks out of the abyss. Of course, Trump immediately followed that up by reiterating that the April 2 tariff deadline is still in fact happening, and any country taxing U.S. goods will get slapped right back. So, basically, nothing changed. 

Meanwhile, two major economic indicators had a rough day. FedEx shares plunged 6% after slashing its earnings outlook, blaming “weakness and uncertainty in the U.S. industrial economy.” Considering FedEx is basically a real-time economic barometer, hearing them sound the alarm isn’t exactly reassuring. Then there’s Nike, which dropped 5% after admitting that tariffs and sliding consumer confidence are wrecking its sales projections. The company’s been trying to clean up its inventory mess and regain market share, but apparently, that’s not happening fast enough for investors.

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And then, there’s Tesla. The electric vehicle maker was on the cuffs of continuing its historic downward spiral, with shares dropping another 1% this week. However, in a last minute pivot, shares bounced back a bigly 5.27% today, saving Elon’s humble above from its first-ever nine-week losing streak, which would’ve been just absolutely embarrassing. 

With that said, though the stock is still down nearly 34% this year, and it’s not hard to see why. Investors are getting increasingly fed up with Elon Musk’s political sideshow, which is distracting from the actual problems at Tesla—like slowing EV demand, brutal competition from Chinese automakers, and a general sense that Musk would rather be anywhere but dealing with Tesla’s problems.

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Zooming out, the S&P 500 has been trying—and failing—to mount a real comeback since falling into correction territory. The index is still about 8% off its record high, and every time it looks like a rally might gain traction, it fumbles the bag. In fact, even after the Federal Reserve reassured investors this week that they still plan to cut rates twice this year, the market barely reacted.

So yeah, at this point, it’s clear that uncertainty is the only thing investors can count on. Between tariffs, the Fed, a potential recession, and whatever fresh havoc Musk decides to stir up next, the market is still a mess. And if this is supposed to be the recovery, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like one. Just my two scents. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

P.S. Just when you thought our beloved congressmen couldn’t get any greasier, one Republican lawmaker decided to YOLO $175k into a stock—right before a major FDIC announcement hit. Lucky timing? Insider edge? You be the judge. We broke it all down inside this week's Stocks.News premium article—click here to check it out ASAP! 

Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla as mentioned in the article.