The Final Tally: Trump Threatens Iran’s Leader, Stocks Threaten to Snap… Walmart Hits 52-Year Low

Part of what makes Trump Trump is that he does things without a second thought about the fallout… or how it looks. That’s how he got elected… twice, depending on your cable provider, and it’s also why most of our portfolios were down 10–20% earlier this year. Proof that in life, you can almost never have your cake and eat it too.

And today? It was a Trump moment for the ages. After calling for Iran’s “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!” and flippantly mentioning that the U.S. knows where Iran’s Supreme Leader is hiding (but, ya know, isn’t going to “kill!” him… yet), Subtle stuff. Wall Street decided to take a little bit of profits. The Dow dropped 306 points. The Nasdaq shed nearly 1%. Even the Magnificent Seven all got crushed. Tesla slid 3%, Apple lost over 1%, and Alphabet almost hit green with only a 0.1% dip.

Oil prices, on the other hand, absolutely love when Trump threatens to nuke diplomacy from his phone. After his “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!” post, crude oil prices jumped as traders prepared for regional chaos. West Texas Intermediate rose $3.07 to close at $74.84 per barrel, up 4.3%, while Brent crude climbed $3.22 to $76.45, a 4.4% spike. Investors are now factoring in potential supply disruptions in the Strait of Hormuz… aka the narrow oil faucet that moves a fifth of the world’s crude.

Unfortunately, for Whoopi Goldberg, Trump wasn’t the only one to blame… U.S. retail sales fell 0.9% in May, nearly double the 0.5% decline economists were expecting. because apparently Americans are now choosing vibes over vices. Consumers pulled back in May, and economists say that’s a red flag the Fed might not be able to ignore… even if Jerome’s been wearing rate-cut blinders all year.

Ironically, this is a win for Trump. He’s been publicly bullying Powell to cut rates for months… just not threatening his life, like he did with Iran’s Supreme Leader. So hey, maybe retail’s collapse was just part of the plan.

If you're a fan of history, here's a little gem for you… Walmart just notched its 10th straight losing session… its longest losing streak since 1972. Either shoppers are broke, bored, or both… and Wall Street’s starting to realize that “Everyday Low Prices” don’t hit the same when foot traffic’s dead and everyone’s too busy Venmo-ing rent. When the king of cheap can’t catch a bid, you know consumer sentiment is cooked.

Meanwhile, Jabil reminded everyone what a functioning business looks like. The Apple supplier beat earnings, raised guidance to $9.33 EPS on $29B in revenue, and the stock soared 12%. Imagine that… actual execution rewarded by the market. Feels illegal.

And in true Trump fashion, he wrapped it all up by ditching the G7 early without signing any trade deals… only to swing back to D.C. and hold court in the Situation Room like he never left.

Now it’s your move, Jerome. The markets are bleeding, oil’s boiling, retail’s crumbling… and Trump’s already sent the tweet. Time to hit the rate-cut button and make stonks go up again.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.