The Final Tally: Trump Hits CTRL+Z on Tariffs… Elon Gets Invited Back to “The Trillionaire Club”

Think about it… has Donald J. Trump ever been the reason global markets, Chinese officials, Elon Musk, and even Nancy Pelosi all smiled on the same day? No. But somehow, today, he managed to pull it off… by basically doing nothing.

Okay, technically he didn’t do nothing… but let’s not pretend this was some masterstroke of diplomacy. Trump basically hit “undo” on the chaos he personally spent the last two months stirring up. After escalating a tariff war that had global markets on edge and retailers panic-hoarding inventory like Covid-19 just became a thing, he and China suddenly agreed to a 90-day ceasefire.

After all the chest-thumping, threats, and tweetstorms, the U.S. is now rolling back its tariffs on Chinese goods from 145% to a still-absurd 30%. China responded in kind, lowering its own tariffs on American imports from 125% to 10%, which in trade terms is the equivalent of offering a warm hug and a fruit basket.

But don’t get it twisted, this wasn’t a carefully negotiated peace agreement. It was more like two guys throwing punches in a parking lot, realizing they’re both winded, and deciding to grab a beer instead. But the markets have been looking for a reason to go full bull, and Trump gave it to em.

And guess who benefited the most from the surprise news. Elon freaking Musk. Tesla stock shot up 6.6%, launching it right back into the trillion-dollar club like it never left.

The major indexes lost their minds too. The S&P 500 climbed 3%,the Dow popped over 1,100 points, and the Nasdaq soared 4.2%, led by the usual names. Amazon surged 8%, Apple climbed 6%, and Nvidia gained 5% (all because the threat of a full-blown trade meltdown got delayed 90 days). Retailers rallied hard, with Dell and Best Buy each jumping over 6%. Analysts are now calling this truce a “holiday miracle,” because it means stores might actually stock their shelves in time for you to ignore your family on Christmas.

Even auto stocks caught a bid (GM, Ford, Stellantis) despite not being part of the deal. Why? Because hope is a hell of a drug. Haven’t you seen The Hunger Games?

Of course, this means all the gold bugs and their moment is over… gold tanked, oil spiked, and the VIX (the market’s favorite panic barometer) plunged below 20, a level we haven’t seen since March, when this whole tariff mess escalated in the first place.

To top it all off, Trump signed an executive order promising to lower drug prices by up to 59%. He also mentioned that a full trade deal with China is “being papered,” which is rich coming from a guy whose idea of documentation is usually written in all caps and retweeted from @TomsDeflatedBalls69.

So no, this wasn’t some grand resolution. It was a temporary timeout. But for a market that’s been trading like it’s running on fumes, even 90 days of calm feels like a gift-wrapped serotonin injection.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.