The Final Tally: Market's Pull Self-Destruct Lever After Three-Day Bender…

Aaaaand it ends. The market’s three-day bender has finally expired on this fine Wednesday. Turns out, you can only snort hopium for so long before reality shows up with the bill… and today, it was a 0.27% drop for the S&P 500, landing at 6,022.30. As for the Nasdaq, it really decided to lean in and faceplant -0.5% to 19,615.88… while the Dow had the audacity to lose exactly 1.1 points… a change so insignificant, I burn more calories scrolling past crypto scams on my Instagram. 

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So with that said, what actually derailed the “stonks only go up” parade today? Blame inflation and the never-ending charade of U.S.-China trade. First, the good news: the consumer price index crept up 0.1% in May, which is less than the 0.2% Wall Street’s finest had written on their napkins. Even the so-called core CPI (strip out food and energy), matched that 0.1% letdown. Of course, the markets wanted fireworks from this, but the Fed gets plausible deniability as the 10-year Treasury yield responded by slumping to 4.41% (down from 4.47% yesterday). Bigly. 

Now for the geopolitical pissing contest: U.S. and China held a two-day offsite in London… perhaps you’ve heard? The big “breakthrough” is a draft agreement where China promises to keep the rare earth minerals flowing, and the U.S. promises to maybe stop treating advanced tech exports like they’re nuclear launch codes. But, but, but… don’t get too horned up on the matter, because this thing still needs sign-off from both leaders, and we all know how a single rage post can torch the whole thing. Meanwhile, for the time being… markets are stuck in limbo, like a badly written cliffhanger where you know everyone’s going to die (read: 90-day tariff pause), but it’ll take 17 episodes. 

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As for the stock market roadshow, Lockheed Martin gave up the ghost (-7%) today after the Pentagon axed its F-35 shopping list from 48 to 24 planes. For Big Tech, Apple and Amazon both slid -2%, while Nvidia, Alphabet, and Meta missed the mark by -1%. On the other hand, Broadcom shrugged with a 3% gain as it kept printing cash. Oh, and after getting investors all hot and bothered yesterday, Intel went full Icarus with a -7% plunge. Because, of course. 

For Oklo, shares mooned 25% because it’s about to win a contract to power an Air Force base… assuming the NRC ever gets around to rubber-stamping its reactor. Chewy, however, put on an earnings clinic with a revenue beat (missing EPS by a penny), with a booming uptick in recurring revenue. The bad part? Investors yeeted shares -10% because apparently “size still matters” even though it’s the perfect size. [Insert joke about Nvidia’s earnings, not anything my therapist has heard on the matter] 

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In other news, Bitcoin, the most expensive lottery ticket on Earth, gave its best impression of a stable asset at $108,700… which for those who aren’t aware, is a hair below its all-time high. Bigly. So yeah, that’s the wrap up. For the narrative of the day? Well, we got soft inflation, more molasses moving geopolitics, and corporate clown cars swerving all over the road. 

Simply put, while the last three days have been up… the market really doesn’t know what world it’s living in. One second it’s paradise, the other it’s all hell breaks loose. And yes, we are all literally paying for the privilege to watch it happen. Meaning, keep your eyes open for tomorrow's jobless claims and PPI reports… and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Apple, Amazon, Meta, Intel, and Alphabet as mentioned in the article.