The Final Tally: Market Massacre Ensues as Trump Drops Tariff Bomb, Dow Craters 444 Points…

Wall Street just got punched in the throat, and traders are selling first and asking questions later. The Dow cratered 444 points (-0.99%), the S&P 500 slipped 0.95%, and the Nasdaq got absolutely bodied, down 1.36%—a fitting end to a week where inflation, tariffs, and Big Tech disappointments gave us a wild tag-team showcase.

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The main catalyst of today’s madness came from the hands of the one and only: Teflon Don’s tariff fiasco. The president announced that he’s planning “reciprocal trade” tariffs, which roughly translates to: “You tax us, we tax you back, and then we see who blinks first.” Traders had Vietnam flashbacks to 2018, when Trump's trade war with China sent stocks into a tailspin. The market’s collective response? Panic sell and go drink heavily.

Additionally, inflation showed its teeth again as the U.S. economy added just 143,000 jobs last month, way below the expected 169,000. Normally, that would be good news for rate-cut addicts, except for one small problem: wages spiked. Hourly earnings jumped 0.5% month-over-month, the biggest gain since March 2022, and 4.1% year-over-year.

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On the corporate side of things, Amazon got obliterated (-4%) after dropping the weakest revenue growth forecast in its history—calling for just 5-9% growth in Q1. And that’s despite dominating in Q4 with beats across the board. Investors don’t care about what you did, Jassey—they care about what you’re gonna do next.

Meanwhile Alphabet, Apple, and Microsoft all bled, plunging 3.19%, 2.40%, and 1.46%, respectively. Shockingly enough, Nvidia came out unscathed with a bleak 0.90% gain while Broadcom went with the grain of the markets trend, closing -2.81% on the day. 

But, but, but… with that said, don’t worry, Bill Ackman came to save the day—at least for Uber. The hedge fund billionaire announced a $2.3 billion stake in the ride-sharing giant, calling it one of the best-managed and highest-quality businesses in the world. Investors ate that up, sending shares flying 6.59% in afternoon trading. 

So the Final Tally here? We aren’t technically in a bear market, but it sure as hell felt like one today. Tariff talk and inflation worries are the perfect spiked cocktail for volatility—and until the Fed hints at more rate cuts soon, it’s likely going to be chop city on the economic front. Fun times. Until next time, friends! 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon, Alphabet, Apple, Microsoft, and Uber as mentioned in the article.