The Final Tally: Big Banks Get a GIGANTIC “Trump Pump”

Wall Street’s biggest banks are back baby and apparently excited about Trump dancing back into the Oval Office next week. Bank of America and Morgan Stanley stole the show with Q4 profits more than doubling, thanks to a revival in investment banking and trading. Despite the solid numbers, Bank of America’s stock slipped 2%, while Morgan Stanley managed a 2% gain. 

In total, six major banks, including JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, and Citigroup, raked in $36 billion in Q4 profits… double the haul from the same period last year. You can hate the man, but you can’t deny the “Trump Bump.”

Over in the boring indexes, the S&P 500 dipped 0.3%, the Nasdaq slid 0.7%, and the Dow lost 119 points, snapping a three-day rally. Big tech got cooked, with Apple tumbling 3.7% (its worst day since August) and Tesla burning 4.3%. Nvidia and Alphabet also joined the misery club, each down about 1%.

And then there’s UnitedHealth… the regular in the bad-news cycle. After missing Q4 revenue expectations, its stock got hammered with a 4% drop.

But you know who’s thrilled today? The gold-hoarding grandpas with stacks of bullion in their basements. Gold shined like a boomer at a Frank Sinatra concert, climbing 1% to trade above $2,740 an ounce (not as impressive as Bitcoin approaching $100,000 again, but hey let gold investors have a win for once).

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

TSMC’s Revenue Looks Fake… And So Does Their Excuse for Dodging Trump

Well, this is awkward. TSMC just crashed the pre-inauguration party with some absolutely monster earnings (shares popped 6%), and the timing couldn't be more perfect… or uncomfortable, depending on which side of the Pacific you're sitting on. 

The world's favorite chip manufacturer somehow managed to increase profits by a mind-boggling 57%, all while President-elect Trump is probably practicing his "tough on trade" speech in front of the mirror. Here's the thing about TSMC's latest quarter… it's way more than good, it's "somebody check if they're cooking the books" good.

Revenue shot up 38.8%, and their high-performance computing division (aka the "we make AI possible" department) is now responsible for…

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A Look into The Company Whose CEO Escaped Prison in a BOX… And Lost 90% of Profit in 1 Year

Seven years ago, Carlos Ghosn (the man who saved Nissan from bankruptcy) became its most infamous fugitive, fleeing Japan in a literal box.

Well, today Nissan is still paying the price… not in court but in profits. The Japanese automaker just reported an awfully impressive 90% profit drop compared to last year. Let’s turn back time to 2018. Nissan thriving under Ghosn’s leadership. He orchestrated a global alliance with Renault and Mitsubishi, turned Nissan’s financials around, and made the Nissan Leaf one of the first mainstream EVs.

But then came the accusations… Ghosn allegedly understated his salary by tens of millions and misused company funds. He denied it all, but before Japan could convict him, he went full Houdini and fled to Lebanon in a freaking music box. Since then, Nissan has been a joke. Executives have been playing musical chairs, mass layoffs hit 9,000 workers, and alliances fractured.

Nissan even broke off its rocky relationship with Renault last year. And no… flying solo hasn’t worked out.  This year’s financial results read like a horror script. Operating profits are down 90%. And net income is down…

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CEO Buys $8 MILLION Near 52-Week Low...

Our "Insider Trade Tracker" recently flagged John F. Barry, CEO of Prospect Capital Corp, splurging $8.58 MILLION to scoop up 2 million shares of his own company’s stock at $4.29 per share. With PSEC trading near its 52-week low, Barry’s wallet says he’s betting big on the company’s 12.6% dividend yield and 21-year track record of payouts. Moves like this are why our tool is your ticket to tracking where the smart money flows… in real time.

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Wall Street's Most Savage Short-Seller Says "We're Done Here" and Walked Off into the Sunset

Pour one out for the short-seller that made fraud exposés feel like a Netflix docuseries. Nathan Anderson, founder of Hindenburg Research and the man who gave us gems like the Nikola Rolling Truck Scandal and the Icahn Enterprises Stock Plunge Special, announced on Wednesday that he’s shutting down shop.

After seven years of calling out corporate B.S., Anderson said, “We’re done here,” and walked off into the sunset—presumably to start a DJ career in Bali, if his parting YouTube link is anything to go by. 

In a note posted to Hindenburg’s website, Anderson got introspective, calling the work “intense” and “all-encompassing.” Translation: torching corporate reputations for a living is hard work, and the man is tired. He admitted the grind came “at the cost of missing a lot of the rest of the world and the people I care about.” Which is definitely understandable.

Even Superman had to make time for Lois. Activist short-selling is a brutal game. Sure, it’s fun when you’re exposing industry titans, but the legal battles and constant scrutiny? Not so much. Anderson’s note hinted…

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Elon Claps Back at "Lame Duck" SEC as They Claim He Finessed His Way to a Massive $150 Million Win…

Look what the cat dragged in: The SEC is officially coming after the world’s richest sh*t talker over his 2022 Twitter stock grab. The allegation? Musk apparently forgot to disclose his growing Twitter stake on time, saving himself a bigly $150 million in the process. Must be nice LOL.

In short, back in early 2022, while Twitter was still a public company and not Elon's personal meme factory, Musk was quietly scooping up shares like a Black Friday shopper at Best Buy. By March, he had crossed the SEC’s magical 5% ownership threshold, triggering a legal requirement to disclose his stake within 10 days.

But did Elon hit submit on that SEC form? Lol, no. Instead, he waited 21 days—11 days past the deadline—before nonchalantly announcing he now owned 9% of Twitter. Cue the collective chaos from regulatory heads everywhere.

As soon as Musk finally made his stake public on April 4, Twitter shares rocketed 27% in a single day, closing at $49.97. The SEC says this delay allowed Musk to keep…

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