Tesla Bros Cry in the Shower After Elon Delays Cybercab Once Again and Drop-Kicks AI5 Into 2027

Everyone: “There’s no way Tesla’s autonomy plans can get any more disappointing…”

Elon Musk: “Hold my steering-wheel-less beer.”

Over the weekend, Tesla dropped yet another episode of When Timelines Attack, and this one might be the season finale. Musk confirmed that Tesla’s next-gen self-driving brain (the hyped, promised, over-sold AI5 chip) “won’t be available in volume until mid-2027.” Not 2025 like he said last year. Not even 2026 with the classic Musk Delay Tax. No, mid-2027. By the time this chip shows up, we might have a new interest rate cycle and the next generation of teenagers will be playing GTA 6.

So what’s the problem you ask? Well, the Cybercab (that’s supposed to usher in the autonomous future) launches in 2026. And now it’ll be running on today’s AI4 hardware, the same chip already struggling to produce the kind of unsupervised autonomy Musk has been promising since the Mannequin challenge was taking over Instagram.

(Source: Inc.)

If you recall, last year, Musk rebranded Hardware 5 as “AI5,” promised it would be applied to vehicles in the second half of 2025, and bragged that it would be 10x more powerful than the current system. This weekend he quietly dropped a “clarification” on Twitter (or what he calls “X”) saying Tesla can’t switch production lines until 2027 because they need “several hundred thousand completed AI5 boards line side.” Translation: “Remember that thing I promised? Yeah… about that…”

This delay also creates a hilarious philosophical problem. Cybercab is supposed to ship in 2026 with no pedals and no steering wheel… a true robotaxi. But AI5, the hardware needed to make that possible, won’t exist until 2027. Even Tesla’s board chair recently suggested maybe the car should have a wheel and pedals “just in case,” which most companies would call common sense. Naturally, Musk immediately shut it down.

And because Tesla can never resist announcing the future before delivering the present, Elon also teased that AI6 is already underway. Yes, AI5 is delayed into the next presidential cycle, but don’t worry… AI6 is apparently “cooking.” Alex, I’ll take “Things That Only Exist in Elon’s Head” for $500.

Samsung, for its part, is still moving forward with a $16.5 billion chip pact, and Elon claims Tesla will eventually produce more AI chips than all other companies combined. Sure. And I’m two weeks away from buying the Knicks.

There is a silver lining here… AI4 gets to hang around another two years before becoming the next “Full Self-Driving Beta Coming Soon” meme. But the downside is the same as it’s been for the last decade… Tesla still can’t deliver unsupervised autonomy, and now the company may launch a robotaxi on hardware that simply isn’t capable of the job.

Which leads us to the obvious conclusion: Cybercab is probably getting a steering wheel. And pedals. And maybe an apologetic little card in the glove compartment that says, “Hardware delayed. Please supervise yourself.” But hey, if that’s what it takes for Elon to deliver on his promise… then Tesla investors will take it.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla as mentioned in the article.