Spirit Throws Twitter Haymakers After United Walks Away From Its Chapter 11 Wreckage

I wasn’t expecting to see two airlines on Twitter beefing like Drake and Kendrick, but hey… I’ve got my popcorn and I’m definitely enjoying it. Spirit Airlines, of all brands, woke up and chose violence, literally typing up and posting the words “maybe that’s why (United) won’t quit yapping about us?” on their official Twitter account.

So how did we get here? Well, it all started when United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby decided to go full math teacher on Spirit’s business model. Speaking at not one but two aviation industry events like Matt McCusker prepping for his Netflix special, Kirby essentially said Spirit was finished. Not maybe. Not possibly. He said, “Spirit is going out of business… because I’m good at math.”

Kirby also added that the ultra-low-cost airline model is officially dead. According to him, you can’t have a business built on screwing over the customer and expect them to keep showing up. Which is honestly rich coming from the CEO of United… a brand best known for turning “re-accommodation” into a contact sport back in 2017. But sure, let's pretend United is Delta with better math skills.

(Source: Reuters)

Anyway, Spirit wasn’t having it. They fired back within minutes like they’d been waiting for this. Their Twitter post hit different: “Scott is finally right about something… it is all about customers. Our Guests love low fares, especially our new Spirit First and Premium Economy options. Maybe that’s why United executives can’t stop yapping about us.” It’s giving petty. It’s giving “we’re broke but still have WiFi.” It’s giving Michael Scott yelling “snip snap!” at Jan during the most awkward dinner party in history.

Now, let’s not ignore the elephant in the cabin. Spirit is in deep trouble. They filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last month… for the second time in under a year. Their attempt at a glow-up in March clearly didn’t stick, because now they’re losing cash hand over fist, cutting routes, and pulling out of cities like San Diego and Portland. To really understand how bad things have got… just look at their operating expenses last quarter that hit $1.2 billion, which was 118% of their revenue. Even my neighbor's dog gets scared when he sees Spirit Airlines's logo.

Part of what really hit a nerve was when Kirby also made it clear United has zero interest in buying Spirit’s assets. He basically looked at their fleet of crusty yellow gremlins and said, “ew.” Like he was offered a used mattress at a yard sale and didn’t want to catch whatever was living inside it. He told Reuters it’d cost $15 million per plane and take years (years, plural) to retrofit Spirit’s flying lawn chairs to meet United’s standards. Then he tossed out the ultimate corporate diss: “It’s not in our wheelhouse.” Which, when translated from Business Douche to English, means, “we’d rather set our own planes on fire than absorb your busted minivan fleet, thanks.”

Kirby actually wasn’t being snarky for the sake of it… United’s already started snatching market share as they gleefully watch Spirit's demise. They just launched flights in 15 cities Spirit currently serves, just in case the yellow banana planes vanish mid-restructure. Frontier, too, is eyeing Spirit’s turf, hoping to become the #1 budget carrier before Spirit finishes its death spiral.

At this point, Spirit’s throwing tweets while United’s throwing dirt on their grave. But credit where it’s due… Spirit may be broke, but they still have time to look for smoke on social media. And if they do go down, at least they’ll be the first airline to post a diss track from bankruptcy court.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in United Airlines and Netflix as mentioned in the article.