Semler Scientific Goes From Heart Monitors to Bitcoin Addiction (105,000 BTC by 2027?!)

Michael Saylor: “I’m literally turning my company into a glorified Bitcoin ETF…”

Semler Scientific: “Hold my beer…” 

You ever wake up and realize your neighborhood podiatrist has a bigger Bitcoin bag than the central bank of Denmark? Well, welcome to 2025, where healthcare companies like Semler Scientific’s idea of diagnostics now involves reading the blockchain and crossing its fingers.

(Source: Giphy) 

Now before we get into the degeneracy strategy of this, Semler sells FDA-approved heart monitors to its consumers. And yet, they’ve made 177 million from Bitcoin “gains” last year and, judging from their latest announcement, someone on the board is deep into crypto Twitter and not coming back. Because while their main moat is nestled deep inside of healthcare… (think: Medicaid, Medicare, healthy/non-healthy… a.k.a. NOTHING to do with crypto)... they’ve now vowed to pile up 105,000 BTC by 2027. Which is, in fact, a money shot load of fugazi money. 

(Source: Benzinga) 

Meaning, MicroStrategy’s Michael Saylor walked so Semler could sprint straight into a margin call. The playbook is classic: sell equity, rack up debt, and pray the Fed doesn’t nuke the market before you finish hoarding. Translation: It’s following Saylor’s “How to Mortgage Your Future For Fun and Profit” manual. Semler is looking to issue its convertibles and tap into their juicy operational cash flow (read: $16.8 million) to fund the spree. They’ve already got 4,449 coins, and now they’re promising to buy another hundred thousand, which at current prices would only require them to multiply their TTM revenue by, oh, 200 times. But Y tho, you ask? Well, because Bitcoin, in their eyes, is the only shot at turning a small-cap medtech firm into a capital markets main character. You can sell heart monitors for 30 years and never get the attention you get from buying $500 million in Bitcoin before lunch.

(Source: Bitcoinist) 

And yes, while that seems absolutely batsh*t crazy to me, investors are foaming at the mouth from it. Semler shares ripped 12% after the news, which is the most action the stock has seen since anyone cared about QuantaFlo, their actually-FDA-cleared heart device. Never mind that the stock’s still down 35% on the year. But hey, apparently shouting “Bitcoin Standard” is all you need to wipe away the tears of shareholder pain. But Y tho, you ask? Well, because Bitcoin, in their eyes, is the only shot at turning a small-cap medtech firm into a capital markets main character. You can sell heart monitors for 30 years and never get the attention you get from buying $500 million in Bitcoin before lunch.

Now of course, will this work over the long term? Well, that’s basically asking if Saylor’s strategy will pay off in the long run. Spoiler: Who knows, especially with how volatile Bitcoin is. But say Bitcoin hits $500k, well, then Semler gets to cosplay as a sovereign wealth fund. OR… more of a possibility, the whole thing implodes and they’re remembered as the guys who swapped FDA approval for a Ledger hardware wallet and a prayer. Either way, watching a healthcare company try to speedrun the MicroStrategy playbook is the most 2025 thing you’ll see all week.

(Source: Giphy) 

And with that, you bet your tail it’s going to be entertaining to watch, regardless. Meaning, keep your eyes on this story and place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.