Saylor’s Bitcoin Gluttony Hits $1 Billion… Who Needs a Business Model When You Have YOLO?

If hearing about Michael Saylor’s ungodly love for internet money is getting annoying… well you’re in for a treat, because he just made headlines again for “teasing” another insane nine-figure bag on Bitcoin. Is it shocking? No, but it’s becoming apparent that Bitcoin is the only thing Microstrategy (I refuse to call it “Strategy” because there is no strategy here… except a crypto vending machine) is good for. 

(Source: Giphy) 

For instance, if Saylor’s “Send more Orange” post on X is any indication, this will make nine straight weeks of institutional Bitcoin benders. Last week, Saylor scooped up 705 BTC for $75 million (average price: $106,495 per coin). That brings the company’s wallet to a deranged 580,955 BTC, or roughly $61.4 billion. To put that in perspective, that’s more BTC holdings than the U.S. and China government treasuries combined.Translation: Bitcoin Maximalism is now literally a line item in public company filings.

(Source: X) 

Additionally, Saylor just dialed up a $1 billion stock offering, quadrupling his original “let’s test the waters with $250 million” pitch. The vehicle? 11.76 million shares of 10% Series A Perpetual Stride Preferred Stock, priced at $85 each. The offering is supposed to raise $979 million after the fee vultures circle. What’s wild is the dividend: 10% non-cumulative… meaning, it’s got yield and it has institutional suit types pretending it’s a bond and not a ticket to the Saylor circus.

Now to be fair, even though it’s batsh*t crazy on the surface, you have to give Saylor some credit for his insanity. Why? Because other than turning his own company into the world's biggest Bitcoin ETF with extra steps… their current paper gain is just 50% ($20.6 billion in unrealized profit… and that’s before Saylor’s next dopamine tweet. However, the big win here is that MicroStrategy shares are up 126% in the last year, blowing past Tesla, Microsoft, and Apple as they’re dealing with tariff whiplash. 

(Source: CoinTelegraph) 

Meanwhile, Bitcoin itself is staggering around $106315, about 5% off the all-time high. And every time Saylor makes these “we’re buying more” announcements, the market gets the same sugar rush it used to get from Elon Musk’s Dogecoin tweets… except this time it’s an actual public company lighting the fiscal cannon, not some meme-coin degens. 

So yeah, forget cloud analytics, AI, or even enterprise software, because Microstrategy is Bitcoin, and Bitcoin is Saylor’s religion. Meaning, the only way he’ll keep these purchases in his pants is if the SEC physically tackles him on the Nasdaq floor (and honestly, that’s probably a net bullish event for crypto Twitter). Now obviously, this is a major game of “putting all your eggs in one basket” event. So either Saylor will become the smartest man alive for this… or he’ll go down as Bitcoin's poster child of failure. There is no in between.

(Source: Giphy) 

For now, keep your eyes on this story as Saylor has yet to pull the trigger on another purchase… but once he does, it’ll be another pump for crypto mouth breathers everywhere. Which means keep your head on the swivel and place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time…

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Apple, Tesla, and Microsoft as mentioned in the article.