Robinhood’s Tokenized Shares Gives Private Equity Cake to Europeans, American’s S.O.L…

Robinhood is back on its degenerate B.S. as they’ve just pulled a “look what you can’t have” stunt on American investors: launching tokenized shares of OpenAI and SpaceX for users in Europe. The stock popped nearly 13% on the news, presumably because nothing gets investors more horned up than the prospect of finally getting a taste of the private equity pie. Meanwhile, U.S. users… Well, they can kick rocks with this rollout. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, OpenAI and SpaceX have been locked behind velvet ropes for years. Unless you’re a Saudi prince, a Sand Hill Road vampire, or you know a guy who “knows a guy,” you’re not getting in. But thanks to the EU’s “let people touch the hot stove if they want” regulatory stance, Robinhood just made these companies accessible to the masses. Again, that is, only if your passport doesn’t say “Merica!”. 

(Source: CNBC) 

To rub it in, Robinhood’s handing out 5 euros worth of OpenAI and SpaceX tokens to every EU user who signs up by July 7. They’ve set aside a million euros in OpenAI and half a mil in SpaceX tokens for the promo, which is basically like firing a T-shirt cannon into a crowd of retail investors. And yet, this is more than just a one-off stunt. For instance, Robinhood’s EU crypto app now lets users trade over 200 tokenized stocks and ETFs (think: Nvidia, Apple, Microsoft, you name it), with 24/5, no commission, no spread. That’s real, on-chain, fractional ownership, not some glorified IOU.

Additionally, the tokens are issued via Arbitrum, and Robinhood’s even building its own blockchain, because why not continue to squeeze every last drop of FOMO from your audience? What’s more is that these tokens could actually let retail investors access liquidity, diversify into companies they’d never touch otherwise, and trade outside the usual “9:30 to 4” Wall Street hours. Bigly. For Robinhood, this is a power play. Why? Because if this model catches on, it could absolutely nuke the moat around private markets. 

(Source: Reuters) 

Back in the U.S., though, it’s still giving “land of the free, home of the legal headlock” energy. Accredited investor rules mean if you don’t have a private jet or at least three separate pairs of Hoka’s, you’re not getting in on the action. CEO Vlad Tenev has been out here begging for change, arguing that blockchain could finally let regular people access private markets, but so far, the only thing getting democratized is disappointment.

So to keep Americans from fully losing it, Robinhood tossed them a bone: staking for ethereum and solana, now that the SEC has decided to be chill about it for once. But if you want a piece of SpaceX or OpenAI? Sorry, you’ll need to start calling cookies “biscuits” or start practicing your VPN skills. 

(Source: Giphy) 

The cool part of all this though, is that Robinhood’s European tokenized equity launch is a glimpse into what investing could be if regulatory dinosaurs weren’t still running the zoo. Tokenized equities could be the first real bridge between TradFi and DeFi… making blue-chip private assets accessible, liquid, and tradable for everyone, not just the one percent.

Translation: If the U.S. ever gets its act together, you could see a tidal wave of capital and new investors flooding into previously gated markets that give retail even more opportunities to yeet their money into (and lose it). But again, for now though, EU investors get to play in the sand, while Americans get cucked. So with that, keep your eyes on this story as the rollout continues to catch eyes, and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Robinhood, Apple, and Microsoft as mentioned in the article.