Palantir Just Had a Historic Earnings… But a Big Hairy Monster is Hiding in The Corner

Palantir junkies are out in full force today, and they want you to know they were right. Just ask them… they’ll tell you. Again. And again. If your Twitter feed looks anything like mine, it’s clogged with PLTR superfans bragging about how their account just hit six figures because they went all in on the stock. Nothing says "smart investing" quite like putting your family’s house at risk by throwing your money at a CEO with bad hair.

Palantir just dropped one of the most ridiculous earnings calls in history. Revenue shot up 36% year-over-year to $827.5 million, while U.S. commercial revenue exploded 64%. Government revenue jumped 45%, proving that Uncle Sam’s thirst for AI-powered data crunching is nowhere near drying up (because, of course, what’s another billion or two when your military budget is bigger than the GDP of entire countries?). The company’s 2025 revenue guidance came in at $3.75 billion, absolutely dunking on Wall Street’s timid $3.52 billion estimate. And their operating margin hit 45%, a full six points higher than expected. Naturally, the stock is ripping… up 25% and hitting an all-time high of $104 per share. If you had PLTR calls this morning, congratulations… you are now unbearable. But hey, you earned it.

Even the analysts who swore up and down that Palantir was overpriced are now trying to rewrite history. Morgan Stanley’s Sanjit Singh all but admitted they screwed up, bumping the price target to $95. DA Davidson’s Gil Luria took it even further, hiking his target to $105. And even RBC Capital, which treats Palantir with all the enthusiasm of my wife reacting to my golf addiction, begrudgingly raised their target to $40.

The Palantir permabulls have emerged from their caves, ready to remind everyone that they saw this coming (AKA: they doubled down at the bottom and have been coping ever since). The same people who were down 85% in 2022 are now acting like financial visionaries.

The valuation, of course, is the real problem now. Even analysts who love Palantir are scared to death of its absurd multiple. But don’t worry… your buddy from Reddit, who absolutely does not work in finance, assures you that valuation doesn’t matter because "this time is different" (which is exactly what people said about Zoom, WeWork, and every other "can’t lose" investment that ended in flames).

Alex Karp, naturally, took a well-earned victory speech. "We are at the way beginning of a revolution," he declared (which really means: "Please don’t sell before this bubble fully inflates"). He also reminded investors that Palantir is "very long America"... a fun way of saying that they are deeply embedded in the U.S. defense industry and that’s never changing (because if there’s one thing America will always have an unlimited budget for, it’s finding new ways to spy on people while insisting it’s for our safety).

So, where does Palantir go from here? This was a monster quarter, solidifying them as a major player in the AI arms race. The government loves them, commercial clients are finally hopping on board, and their growth is outpacing even the most optimistic projections. But let’s not pretend that buying into a $100 billion company at 40 times forward earnings is a genius move. At some point, even the most dedicated PLTR bulls have to ask… how much of this AI hype is already priced in?

For now, though, let them enjoy their moment. Just be ready for the inevitable silence when the stock takes a 15% dip next month and all those Twitter geniuses mysteriously disappear… only to return when Palantir rips again, conveniently forgetting their panic sells in between.

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Stock.News does not have positions in companies mentioned.