Oracle’s Cloud Gets Evicted, Nvidia Keeps the Deposit... Gold Gone Wild

After seven straight green days, Mr. Market took one look at the Reddit threads full of traders declaring early retirement and (in true Kendrick fashion) said, “Sit down, be humble.” The S&P 500 dropped 0.4%, the Nasdaq fell 0.7%, and the Dow lazily drifted down 0.3%, as Oracle became the biggest market scapegoat since Steve Bartman reached for that foul ball at Wrigley Field (and we all know how that ended).

Turns out those supposedly THICC margins everyone thought Oracle was sitting on were about as real as Caroline Ellison’s “risk management strategy.” According to The Information, the company’s cloud business (the same one funding Larry Ellison and his nepo-baby son’s Hollywood side quests) is apparently losing money on Nvidia chip rentals. Say it with me now: “we are so cooked.”

When word got out, everyone went, “Wait… we’re losing money on AI now?” and the entire tech sector decided to take a dive right alongside Oracle. Ameriprise strategist Anthony Saglimbene tried to make it sound profound, saying, “At some point, investors will ask, ‘What’s the ROI?’” But it’s pretty clear that Wall Street is slowly realizing you can’t feed earnings per share with cope and ChatGPT prompts forever.

Meanwhile, in the land of dysfunction and unpaid interns (Washington) the government shutdown lumbered into week two. The Senate once again failed to pass a funding bill, Trump blamed Democrats (classic), and Chuck Schumer hopped on X to yell “THIS ISN’T TRUE.”

The White House swears negotiations are “ongoing.” Schumer swears they’re not. Trump says he’s “working on something good for healthcare.” Schumer again: “No, he’s not.” So technically, the government’s closed… but at least Fox and CNN ratings are up.

Oh and because the government’s still closed, the people who release economic data aren’t getting paid… we’re all driving through this financial fog like Stevie Wonder behind the wheel. That might explain why gold just popped over $4,000 an ounce for the first time ever (up 49% this year btw). If the shutdown drags on, active-duty military won’t get paid either. Trump was asked about back pay and said it “depends on who we’re talking about,” which doesn’t help the anxiety meter at all.

So now we’ve got a market realizing that “AI solves everything” isn’t an actual investment strategy, Oracle accidentally underwriting Nvidia’s next earnings beat, and a Congress that can’t agree if water is wet. And to top it off, for all you “I keep half my net worth in Bitcoin because I’m built different” types… the world’s favorite decentralized savings account dropped 2% today, less than 24 hours after showing off a new all-time high. 

For all you peeps riding along with our Stock Prophet Watchlist… after yesterday’s 1,000%+ rip on SPRB (which, yes, we called first on the Stocks.News app), we knew today had some Shaq-sized shoes to fill. And while we didn’t land another 10xer, it was still one heck of a Tuesday… especially with Oracle doing its best Titanic reenactment. COCH spiked 46% after our alert, and ULY followed up with a clean 33% gain. 

So yeah, hopefully, you’re taking full advantage of these moves as we drop them. As always, stay glued to the Stocks.News app… we’re firing out updates and fresh alerts all day long. See you tomorrow morning.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.