“I’m in a glass case of emotion adrenaline” - investors, probably 

We’re going back to back this Wednesday friends as the energy is… cautiously optimistic? Suspiciously optimistic? Either way, green is green.

(Source: Giphy) 

The S&P 500 tacked on 0.8%, the Nasdaq ripped 1.26%, and the Dow added 307 points (0.6%) in what felt like the entire market holding its breath before Big Jensen takes the stage after the bell. Speaking of Obi-Huang-Kenobi, Nvidia climbed 1.4% heading into its earnings print… currently pacing its fourth straight day of gains and somehow the only trillion-dollar tech name in the green YTD (+2.7%). Let that marinate. Seven of eight mega-cap tech stocks are underwater in 2026, the Nasdaq's down over -.36%, and Nvidia's just... printing. 

As for earnings itself, every hyperscaler already told us they're throwing even more money at AI infrastructure… capex commitments that would make a sovereign wealth fund blush… so the Street basically needs Jensen to guide above consensus revenue and keep the growth narrative intact. UBS's Ulrike Hoffmann-Burchardi said it plainly: market confidence in the days ahead hinges on this print. Translation: We’re cooked if Nvidia doesn’t give the people what they want. 

(Source: Moomoo) 

Meanwhile, Oracle jumped +1.19% after Oppenheimer upgraded the name, calling the risk-reward "favorable" post-pullback. Software stocks broadly caught a bid despite Anthropic eradicating whole a$$ industries deploying plugins that make white collar peeps more productive. Palantir (+4.15%), Microsoft (+3%), and Salesforce (+3.51%) all up. 

On the fintech front, Bank of America reiterated its buy on Robinhood (+5.64%) with a $122 price target… implying 66% upside, which is either extremely bullish or extremely ambitious depending on your relationship with hopium. Analyst Craig Siegenthaler thinks crypto winter is bottoming, especially if the CLARITY Act passes and gives the industry something it's never had: actual regulatory framework. (Read: Crypto currently drives 15% of Robinhood's). 

(Source: Tenor) 

On the post-earnings front, movers were violent in both directions. Circle exploded 35%, Cava surged 26% (bougie-casual remains undefeated), and Axon melted faces after booming 17%. In the gulag, we had GoDaddy faceplanting -14%, Diago dropping -15% (somebody get the board some Guinness) and First Solar plummeting -13%. Hate to see it.

In the end, the  entire market is basically a hostage negotiation with one earnings report right now. If Jensen delivers, the AI trade gets another life. If he doesn't, that cautious optimism turns into "I knew it" real fast. Nobody's neutral here. Everyone's positioned. Everyone's collectively clenched. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

☕ Market Gossip

> Are collectibles a viable asset class? The buyer of the $16.5 million Pokémon card thinks so (CNBC): And Pokémon fans just went from six to midnight.

> Hacker Used Anthropic’s Claude to Steal Sensitive Mexican Data (Bloomberg): Claude, copy/paste the entire database. Make no mistakes.

> About 12% of US teens turn to AI for emotional support or advice (TechCrunch): Think: “Will bourbon chicken get me drunk?”

> Panera Bread releases first-ever value menu with ‘Mix & Match’ deals (CNBC): If it doesn’t include Charged Lemonade I don’t want it…  

“WTF” Meme of the Day

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.