Jensen Huang Resigns as Nvidia's "Horny Jail Hammer" Finally Drops (2nd Affair Seals the Deal)

Well, that escalated quickly…

I'm beginning to suspect Bill Clinton has been moonlighting as Jensen Huang's personal executive coach. And judging by the latest allegations, the curriculum has absolutely NOTHING to do with semiconductors.

Because apparently ONE extramarital affair involving an alleged Chinese spy wasn't enough to keep Jensen Huang's legal team employed.

Now there's a second woman.wit

And this one works for him.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…” -Nvidia’s HR ladies, probably

According to a bombshell fake news report (read: NYT), the 63-year-old leather-jacket enthusiast allegedly had an extramarital relationship with Kimberly Powell, Nvidia's 48-year-old vice president of healthcare.

The healthcare industry's horny allegations have officially gone corporate. BONK.

And somehow, that's not even the worst part of his week.

Today, the WSJ reported that Nvidia’s board is considering giving Jensen Huang the Steve Jobs treatment. As in, OUST the man who is almost entirely responsible for the AI revolution in the first place.

*takes long drag of cigarette* “That Elon Musk job offer is starting to look a whole lot less hypothetical.”

Quick recap: Jensen has spent the past several weeks getting absolutely cooked over revelations that he had an affair with Alice Huang, a Chinese businesswoman honeypot whom U.S. intelligence reportedly identified as an asset of Beijing.

The relationship has already triggered a board investigation, congressional scrutiny, and the rather unfortunate question of whether Jensen's international booty call extracurricular activities created a national-security nightmare.

China denies the espionage allegations, and there's no public evidence Jensen knowingly handed over classified information.

Still, not exactly the kind of thing shareholders want to hear about the guy running their multitrillion-dollar investment.

And now?

Five former Nvidia employees reportedly told The Times that the Rizz King himself (read: Jensen) also had a relationship with Powell, who has worked at Nvidia since 2008.

According to two of those sources, the pair were allegedly caught on video canoodling getting affectionate at a San Jose hotel during an Nvidia conference in March.

Both are married to other people.

"At least I waited until the Coldplay concert." -Astronomer's former CEO, presumably

Of course, there's one rather inconvenient detail here.

Nvidia's own code of conduct specifically warns employees against personal relationships that create conflicts of interest.

And when the CEO is allegedly sleeping with an executive who reports to him, the HR department tends to have a few follow-up questions.

Especially when the CEO's OTHER alleged relationship already has congressional investigators knocking on the door.

“You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?” -Michael Scott Alice Huang

In fact, Nvidia's board has already hired heavyweight law firm Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz to investigate the Chinese intelligence controversy.

And according to the Journal, directors met Wednesday to discuss whether Jensen should remain in charge.

The number of powerful men brought to their knees by their own horniness needs to be studied by Harvard.

Meanwhile, when The Times called Jensen on Wednesday to ask about his alleged relationship with Powell, his response wasn't exactly a passionate denial.

"I don't think you should be talking to me directly."

Then he hung up.

Well, that clears everything up.

Nvidia declined to comment, Powell didn't immediately respond, and the board has yet to publicly announce any decision about Jensen's future.

But investors weren't exactly thrilled about the prospect of Nvidia losing the guy who's been steering the ship since 1993.

Shares fell another 5% Thursday morning.

Again, Jensen isn't some interchangeable CEO hired five years ago to juice quarterly earnings.

He CO-FOUNDED Nvidia more than three decades ago, survived the company's early struggles, and is the only reason ChatGPT and Meta Muse exist.

Now the board is considering firing his a**.

No successor has been announced. No termination has been confirmed. And Jensen remains CEO.

But the fact that directors are even discussing removing him tells you how quickly this scandal has escalated.

For now, Nvidia still has its chips, its customers, and its dominant position in AI infrastructure.

The one thing it might not have much longer?

The guy in the leather jacket.

(Update to article: Jensen Huang announced his resignation shortly after publishing. CFO Colette Kress will serve as interim CEO.)

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.