Nuclear Frenzy Erupts After Army’s $28B “Janus Program” Sends Traders Fission for Tendies

Well, the U.S. Army just announced something called the “Janus Program,” which, despite sounding like Tony Soprano’s least stable relative, actually has nothing to do with mob family drama… and everything to do with sticking micro nuclear reactors on military bases across America. I guess diesel generators are officially out, like skinny jeans and good sounding pop music (someone had to say it).

And the second the news dropped, you could practically feel the vibrations of hedge fund interns sprinting to their keyboards, typing: “Hey ChatGPT, list the top nuclear stocks most likely to print tendies.”

The hype didn’t disappoint. NuScale exploded 17%, Centrus Energy jumped 13%, Oklo climbed 7%, and Nano Nuclear glowed up 4% after the announcement. The only catch? Not a single one of them has actually built a reactor yet. NuScale at least has some revenue ($8 million last quarter) while Oklo and Nano are still living in the “hopes and dreams” phase.

The Army says these tiny nukes will keep bases running when the grid craps out… whether from snowstorms, cyberattacks, or, you know, World War III. Each microreactor pushes out just under 20 megawatts, which is roughly the energy you’d get from about 1,900 gallons of diesel per hour.

(Source: Wall Street Journal)

They’ll be commercially owned and operated, but built with Pentagon money and oversight from the Defense Innovation Unit… the same folks who’ve been experimenting with small, transportable reactors since 2019. And yes, this whole thing was ordered by President Trump, who told the Army to get a reactor online by September 30, 2028. The Janus Program is basically his executive order going nuclear… literally.

Why the heck is the Army doing this? Well it’s because America’s military bases have been running on fossil fuels and good vibes, but with more power-hungry tech (drones, radar systems, anti-drone systems) the old setup isn’t cutting it. And let’s be real, no one wants to explain to Congress why the missiles stopped working because Texas had another freeze.

The Army’s goal is energy resilience: “Power, no matter what, 24/7,” said Jeff Waksman, the Army’s principal deputy assistant secretary. Translation: even if the grid goes down, the bombs still work. And if you think this sounds like prep for a China conflict, you’re not wrong. Officials say the reactors could eventually power forward bases in the Pacific or Arctic, where supply chains are... not ideal.

But before you go all in on the “atomic tendies,” Goldman Sachs has been telling clients to chill… especially on Oklo, the Sam Altman-backed nuclear startup that has yet to make a single kilowatt. Still, the market is treating this like the space race with uranium. And at this point, if it glows, it goes.

The Janus Program might finally give America’s nuclear startups the one thing they’ve never had: a paying customer with bottomless pockets and zero fear of radioactive risk.

If all goes according to plan (and we all know it won’t), the Army could have its first portable reactor live by 2028, powering bases (and portfolios) from California to the Carolinas. In the meantime, new nuclear stonk investors are praying that the future of military energy comes in a reactor the size of a shipping container.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.