Newsmax IPO Explodes 667%... RFK Sends Biotech to the ICU

Apparently, the IPO market didn’t get the memo that we’re in a bear market. It’s acting like it’s 2021 again (totally disconnected from reality).

Case in point: Newsmax went public today, and honestly, I’m still trying to process it. The conservative media outlet hit the NYSE and instantly went down in the IPO hall of fame, exploding over 667% within hours. All in all, shares rocketed from $10 to more than $68, before being halted too many times to count. The surge gave Newsmax a $1.5 billion valuation, which is… bold for a network best known for yelling at the camera and advertising freeze-dried survival meals.

Speaking of vaccines… RFK Jr. reminded everyone he’s not here to play by the old rules. Over the weekend, he forced out Dr. Peter Marks, the FDA’s top vaccine regulator and longtime head of the agency’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research. If you don’t know Marks, he’s basically been the quarterback for every major vaccine approval since the Obama years… including COVID. His sudden exit wasn’t exactly part of a planned retirement tour. 

Markets wasted no time reacting. You name the biotech stock, and it definitely crashed (aside from many Novo Nordisk which somehow went up 1%). To make things worse, reports started circulating that the Department of Health and Human Services may yank federal funding for Moderna’s bird flu vaccine, one of the company’s few high-stakes programs outside of COVID.

Now to the markets, which are wrapping up Q1 like they just stumbled out of a bar at 2 a.m…. The S&P 500 bounced back from early losses to close up 0.5%, but not before dipping to its lowest since September (was a great time to buy more, if you’re into that). After going deep in the red early on, the Dow had a rare moment of confidence, jumping 1.3%, thanks to defensive plays like Coca-Cola and Walmart. And to wrap things up, the Nasdaq continued its tragic slide, down 0.3%.

Nvidia dropped another 3%... yes, the AI messiah is now 30% off its high (so if you bought after the DeepSeek crash, you got faked out). Tesla sank 3% too. Apple and Meta didn’t escape either, each losing steam as the whole growth sector basically curled into the fetal position. Over in energy drinks, Celsius popped 6% after analysts decided that buying Alani Nu and cornering the female gym-rat market was genius. It might actually be.

On the housing front, Mr. Cooper (real company name) flew 17% after Rocket Companies said it would buy the firm in a $9.4 billion all-stock deal. The acquisition will create a massive mortgage servicing operation overseeing roughly $2.1 trillion in loans and serving nearly 10 million customers. Rocket shares dropped 9% as investors got nervous about the merger. Big deals sound exciting, but combining two massive mortgage companies during a weak housing market? That’s a tough sell.

Oil prices jumped 3%, climbing back above $75 a barrel, after Donald Trump floated the idea of hitting countries that continue buying Russian crude with 25% to 50% tariffs. He also warned that buyers of Venezuelan oil could be next in line.

And it’s only the beginning. On Wednesday, Trump is expected to unveil his latest round of tariffs (dubbed “Liberation Day”) and reports suggest he’s telling aides to make the plan even bigger and broader than initially discussed. Whether that means more countries, more products, or more chaos, remains to be seen.

All told, the S&P 500 is down 6.3% for March, Nasdaq is off 8%, and the first quarter is ending with a thud. But hey, at least we have some warm weather soon.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.