NEW: Wall Street Market Makers Reap Record Gains (While Retail Wallows in Self-Pity)...

For those of you who take pleasure in pain like Chuck Rhoades takes pleasure in getting pummeled by his wife, this one's for you.

(Source: Giphy) 

We all remember the GameStop saga of 2021, right? Yeah, how could any retail investor forget the time when we all thought we could stick it to the man, only to find out that “the man” was Citadel Securities - who was not only holding the stick, but also the one doing the sticking? Yeah, good times amirite?

(Source: Vice) 

Well, guess what buckos? They’re friggin back at it again, making more money than ever while Nvidia degenerates are still nursing wounds from this week's portfolio obliteration. In short, Citadel Securities and Jane Street Group, aka the market manipulation maker firm you’ve probably never heard of, are getting their Gordon Gekko on as these two Wall Street giants are on track to hit new revenue records. 

(Source: Bloomberg) 

For example, Citadel’s net trading revenue for the first half of the year? A cool $4.9 billion. And Jane Street? They’re legit printing money with $8.4 billion. That’s an 81% and 78% increase, respectively, year over year. Meaning, not only are these numbers so big they make my cousins Robinhood balance look like Monopoly money…

(Source: Giphy) 

But this just proves, once again, that when you’re pulling the strings to the chaos, you’re automatically winning. You see, these two firms are like the Illuminati of Wall Street—powerful, secretive, and probably laughing at us from their ivory towers. Even though they keep things close to the vest, their financial statements let us peek behind the curtain just enough to realize we’re all screwed. 

(Source: Finimize)

For instance, while both these companies have been pumping money into tech and top-tier talent like there’s no tomorrow, Jane Street’s been killing it with ETFs and credit trading (boring, but boring with a few billion to write home about). 

Meanwhile, Citadels has been hopping into corporate bonds and electronic trading of euro and sterling interest-rate swaps because, you know, why not make even more money outside of US markets? This move for Citadel has the puppeteer giant sitting pretty with 2.7 billion in adjusted earnings for the first half of the year. Translation: That’s double what they made last year, while all that’s doubled for me is my grocery bill. 

(Source: Pinterest) 

Now if you’re still reading this, and you’re still not impressed by how much the odds are NOT in your favor, get this: Wall Street’s biggest banks only saw an +18% boost in equities trading revenue compared to Citadel and Jane Streets’ +81% and +78% increase (as mentioned above). 

(Source: Barchart) 

Additionally, Citadel is said to be hoarding $3.9 billion in unrestricted cash and has $15.3 billion in net trading capital.  On the other hand, Jane Street, who clearly hates being second at anything, is sitting on $5.7 billion in cash. Now I’d say they could buy a small country with that cash, but let’s be honest - owning and rigging the market is definitely more of a “killer high” than owning and manipulating a country. 

(Source: Giphy) 

So with that said, what’s the takeaway in all of this? Well nothing really other than just knowing how the opponents are fairing this year. And when I say opponent, I mean the smart money, because you know… investing is a zero-sum game after all.

However, while our step bro’s over at Wall Street Bets are trying to decipher the next meme stock or wondering why their Nvidia call options are tanking, rest assured that market manipulators makers, like Citadel and Jane Street are making money hand over fist.

(Source: Giphy) 

And according to reports, they aren’t slowing down anytime soon - especially as Jane Street is about to raise another $1.4 billion through the bond markets. So clearly, as Citadel and Jane Street keep racking wins like it’s a video game with cheat codes, retail traders are left to watch from the sidelines, clutching their portfolios and hoping for a dag gum miracle (we all need a Kurt Russell moment, amirite?).

But alas, like I said, there’s no action here on any investors' part with this topic. But it is a good reminder that despite all the chaos and portfolios that have been “rekt” this week, someone on the other side is winning… and that other side are market makers like Citadel and Jane Street. Shocker.

(Source: Giphy) 

On the other hand though, if this pisses you off like it does me, then you should know that our Stocks.New alert yesterday officially hit a peak +162.08% move in… get this… LESS than 24 hours from publishing. What’s more, is that not only did our premium members come out winning bigly from this alert, but it marks our fifth TRIPLE digit winner in a row. How bout dat? 

Meaning, why stress your brain cells worrying how Citadel and Jane Street are pickpocketing retail traders left, right, and twice on Sunday when Stocks.News premium members are literally capitalizing on the most explosive market opportunities every… single… week?

Now only you can decipher that logic, but for those who smell what I’m steppin’ in, hurry and upgrade to Stocks.News premium before our next alert! It’ll be a banger I’m sure. 

In the meantime, stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time… 

Stocks.News holds no positions in companies mentioned in the article.