Meta, Nvidia, and Booz Allen Launch Space Llama, Finally Proving Space Unsafe From AI Hype…

So Meta just put an AI in space because Earth wasn’t nearly enough of a disaster.

On Friday, Meta, Booz Allen Hamilton, Nvidia, and Hewlett Packard Enterprise joined forces, shook hands, and collectively agreed to shove Llama 3.2 (Meta’s open-source AI model) straight into the International Space Station. And guess what? They’re calling it… *checks notes*... “Space Llama”. Sounds legit. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, the goal here is to replace astronauts' crusty old paper manuals with something more efficient: a semi-sentient chatbot that may or may not tell you to rewire the oxygen tank with a paperclip. Space Llama is designed to operate with “denied, disrupted, intermittent, and limited bandwidth,” which is a polite way of saying, "It’s like trying to run ChatGPT on a potato during a hurricane." A.k.a. Perfect conditions for when your life depends on it LOL. 

But hey, Meta’s VP of Generative AI, Ahmad Al-Dahle, said this marks a future where open-source AI models "fuel space exploration and research." Which obviously did the trick because investors took Al-Dahle’s words as gospel and yeeted the stock north of 2.3% on the announcement. Additionally, Booz Allen shares inched up 0.5% (which to be honest, feels almost insulting considering they’re one of the few companies that can simultaneously manage defense contracts, space ops, and probably your FBI file).

(Source: CNBC) 

But alas, I wouldn’t call this a win for humanity just yet. Remember, this is the same Meta and Lizard Zuck that has built the world’s most powerful ad platform and then somehow turned it into a breeding ground for conspiracy theories and MLM schemes. Now that same brain trust thinks they’re ready to troubleshoot mechanical failures 250 miles above Earth (all while my aunt keeps getting scammed off Facebook Marketplace). 

Meanwhile, NASA's budget is getting chainsawed thanks to Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, which means the people who were supposed to double-check all this space tech are busy adding “Open to Work” on their profile pics. Regardless though, sure the thought of launching AI into space is cool… but the reality is, all Meta is doing is saving astronauts from having to flip through laminated binders. And instead, give them a glorified Clippy in zero gravity. 

(Source: Giphy)

Meaning, in my opinion, Space Llama is a perfect metaphor for 2025: overengineered, overhyped, and somehow still Zuck’s best shot to build something that improves the human experience instead of just monetizing it. Now again, only time will tell if this becomes a complete failure, or something that actually makes a difference in space… but for now, I wouldn’t hold my breath. In the meantime, keep your eyes on this story and place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Meta as mentioned in the article.