Larry Ellison Gets “$60B Paypal Request” After Warner Bros. Rejects His Son’s Lowball Offer

Just me, or does David Ellison seem like the kinda guy who calls his dad when he can’t find the remote… in his own house…

Warner Bros. Discovery just told Paramount Skydance “thanks, but we’re good” after getting hit with a takeover offer so low even CNN’s ratings felt bad for it. Paramount reportedly threw out a bid around $20 per share, which WBD CEO David Zaslav promptly rejected while polishing his “we made ‘Barbie’” trophy. Zas wants at least $30 for his streaming and studio biz (aka the good stuff) and that’s not even counting the cable side of the house (which he still insists has “strong upside potential”… bless his heart). Somebody should really tell him podcasts exist.

David Ellison’s out here doing everything short of a car wash fundraiser to make this deal happen. He’s been speed-dialing Apollo Global Management like it’s a billionaire sugar-daddy hotline, trying to piece together enough financing to look legit… all while pretending this isn’t just another episode of “Larry, Can I Have Some Money?”

(Source: Bloomberg)

But word is, Larry’s ghosting him. The Oracle boss just handed him $6 billion to follow his dreams. Can you blame the guy? You can almost hear him saying, “David, I love you, but you’re not that guy pal.”

And just when you think it couldn’t get more awkward, here comes Comcast… creeping around like a raccoon behind Nobu’s dumpsters. CEO Brian Roberts is reportedly waiting to pounce once he spins off his cable division, eyeing WBD’s most prized possessions: HBO, Warner Bros. Studios, and every franchise that still gets people’s butts off the sofa and into a theater.

So now you’ve got Zaslav playing hard to get, Ellison losing sleep that Daddy won’t float him $60 billion, and Comcast peering through the blinds like it’s casing the joint. Hollywood hasn’t seen this much drama since Will Smith’s open-hand diplomacy at the Oscars.

What happens next? Probably a bidding war… or a painfully awkward Halloween party on the Ellison yacht where Larry swirls his drink, looks his son dead in the eye, and says, “Son, I already spent your inheritance… on Oracle stock buybacks.”

Can you imagine the audacity of going back to Dad for another $60 billion after he just gave you enough money to buy the Miami Dolphins? Totally relatable amirite?

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.