JPMorgan Surrenders $162M Lawsuit Against Tesla Because: Elon Friggin' Musk

Aaaand just like that, one of the pettiest corporate slap fights in recent memory comes to an end. JPMorgan Chase, the financial juggernaut that loves throwing its weight around, quietly dropped its three-year-old lawsuit against Tesla on Friday. The case? A $162 million tantrum over Elon Musk’s now-iconic “funding secured” tweet from 2018. The timing? Suspiciously close to Musk cementing his role as the most powerful private citizen in America. Coincidence? I think not. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Let’s roll back the tape. This mess started in 2014, when Tesla sold JPMorgan a bunch of stock warrants—basically, a fancy way for the bank to buy Tesla shares at a specific price later on. Everything was humming along fine until Musk decided to break the internet in August 2018 with a tweet claiming he was “considering taking Tesla private at $420 a share” with “funding secured.” Spoiler: the funding wasn’t secured.

(Source: Reuters) 

What followed was complete chaos. Tesla’s stock price was absolutely yeeted and JPMorgan, ever the opportunist,  adjusted the strike price on the warrants to “protect their value.” Tesla, smelling a cash grab, fired back, calling it a cynical attempt to squeeze more money out of the deal. Things escalated to DEFCON 1 in 2021 when JPMorgan sued Tesla for $162 million, claiming breach of contract. As expected, Tesla countersued in 2023, calling the lawsuit a “bad-faith money grab.” In short, it was a corporate pissing match of epic

Now, fast forward to this week, and suddenly,  it’s all water under the bridge. Both sides filed a one-page notice in court saying they’d drop their claims against each other. No drama. No fireworks. No juicy courtroom showdown. Just a quiet “let’s pretend this never happened.” Neither side disclosed the settlement terms—classic move when you don’t want anyone to know who blinked first.

(Source: Bloomberg) 

But let’s talk about that timing. Elon Musk isn’t just the CEO of Tesla anymore—he’s Elon Friggin’ Musk, Co-Overlord of the Department of Government Efficiency and the guy who practically runs Twitter (or X, whatever). He’s got power, influence, and a Rolodex that probably includes half the world’s leaders. You think JPMorgan didn’t factor that into their decision to back off? Please.

Which is why in a hilariously awkward twist to this whole clusterf**k, JPMorgan issued a statement saying they’re now entering a “new commercial relationship” with Tesla. Translation: “We need to play nice with Musk because he’s too powerful to piss off.” Forget the three years of mudslinging—now they’re suddenly besties. Don’t buy it for a second. This is less about reconciliation and more about survival.

(Source: Giphy) 

Neither company is spilling the beans on what this “new relationship” actually entails, but you can bet it’s all about dollars, not hugs. For JPMorgan, keeping Musk as a potential ally is probably worth swallowing their pride. For Tesla, it’s one less lawsuit to deal with as they navigate the volatile EV market.

So yeah, there was definitely no kumbaya moment to be had here. JPMorgan’s case was already looking shaky after a Manhattan federal judge denied their motion for a pre-trial ruling in September. They were staring down the barrel of a messy, public trial that could’ve exposed them as opportunistic vultures. Meaning, settling quietly was a face-saving move, plain and simple. Meanwhile, Musk walks away unscathed, probably laughing about which federal agency he’s about to guillotine next.

(Source: Giphy) 

In the end, this wasn’t a settlement–it was a surrender. JPMorgan saw the writing on the wall: Musk is untouchable right now, and picking a fight with him is a losing game. The lawsuit may be dead, but the power dynamics here are crystal clear: Elon Musk doesn’t just win—he dominates. 

For now, both sides are pretending to kiss and make up, but don’t be fooled. This “new relationship” is just a truce in a much bigger power struggle. Of course, only time will tell what comes of this “new friendship” but in the meantime, keep an eye on both stocks. I’m sure there’s bound to be some headwinds and massive volatility to follow after last week's short week. So yeah, place your bets accordingly, friends—and as always, stay safe and stay frosty! Until next time…

P.S. It’s Cyber Monday, and if you miss out on this 90% OFF deal that expires in less than 15 hours, well, then… you probably weren’t cut out for these absolute FIRE alerts anyway. Spoiler: Friday's alert popped 130% BEFORE the markets even opened. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla as mentioned in the article.