If You Sell Scam Tokens for a Living, the U.S. Government Just Made Your Life Easier (Unbelievable)

If you happen to be a scammer reading this (first of all, thanks for the support), good news… the U.S. government just handed you a permission slip wrapped in a gold-plated Ledger wallet. Here’s what went down.

This week, the Justice Department disbanded its National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Team (aka, the one squad actually making life difficult for crypto criminals). This team was responsible for high-profile takedowns like Binance’s money-laundering charges and the prosecution of Tornado Cash developers (the guys allegedly helping North Korean hackers wash their dirty tokens). They even took down Avraham Eisenberg, the guy who allegedly ran off with $110 million after manipulating a decentralized exchange for fun.

But Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche (formerly Trump's personal lawyer) sent out a memo that might have as well have said, "All you folks who moved to Dubai, can come back home." The DOJ is now shifting away from technical violations like unregistered securities, and instead focusing on only the real criminals… terrorists, drug cartels, human traffickers.

Which, cool… but also, have we met the crypto industry? Blanche went on to say, “The Department of Justice is not a digital assets regulator,” which sounds a lot like, “Please stop emailing us about the rug pull you lost your life savings to, we’re busy.” He also called the Biden-era crackdown on crypto “reckless regulation by prosecution.”

And just to make the message clear as mud, the DOJ told its fraud division (the Market Integrity and Major Frauds Unit) to stop investigating crypto altogether. Their new focus is procurement fraud and immigration cases. Because, yeah, sure. Let’s bench the team that stopped a $110 million market manipulation case so they can chase down shady office supply contracts.

Of course this all comes as Trump’s family launched a new crypto venture, World Liberty Financial, planning to release a stablecoin. And they have a reported claim on 75% of the net revenue from meme coin sales like $TRUMP and $MELANIA (not securities, just “expressions of support,” wink wink).

So let’s recap. The crypto cops just got pulled off the beat. The President and First Lady are now selling joke tokens for profit. And the SEC and FDIC are quietly ghosting cases they were winning just months ago. If you’re a scammer, this is your greenlight to go crazy. (Just don’t forget to add “Not Financial Advice” to your tweets. Very important.)

Of course, some argue this “new direction” is about prioritizing real victims. And sure, we should focus on stopping terrorist crypto wallets. But let’s not pretend everyone else in this space is squeaky clean. We’ve already seen what happens when there’s too little oversight: FTX, Celsius and Tera (that’s not even counting the influencers who continue to rugpull and get away without a slap on the wrist).

And now Wall Street institutions are claiming the crypto market is about to explode again. $10 trillion dollar BlackRock is banking (pun intended) on tokenized assets becoming a $19 trillion market by 2033.

But deregulating just as trillions pour in? That’s like pulling the referees out of a UFC fight and telling everyone to “fight fair.” Just dumb, in my opinion.

If you scam investors in the stock market (run a pump-and-dump, fake your numbers, rug pull a few retirement accounts) you end up sharing a cell with mobsters and guys named “Tony Two-Times.” But if you pull the same stunt in crypto? You go on a podcast, say you’re “so sorry,” shed a couple tears, pretend you had no idea things would go south… and then hop right back on Twitter like nothing happened. No jail time. No repayments. Crazy world we live in.

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