Ford Patents New "KAREN" Tech to Report Speeders to Cops! Internet Screams: "Snitches Get Stiches.."

Ford: Nobody is buying our EV cars…

Also Ford: Let’s put a special camera in our cars to notify the police when someone is speeding…

In addition to all the WTF’s this week as earnings continue to inject the market with immense volatility, Ford has just issued a new patent that sounds like it’s straight out of a dystopian novel. 

(Source: CBT News) 

Which is quite interesting considering Ford has been on a rollercoaster when it comes to their ambitious plans to dominate the EV market and put Elon in the back seat. However, after hyping up their EV plans like they were the second coming of Henry Ford himself and pouring $22 billion into EV R&D like the Blue Oval City in Tennessee -  the demand hasn’t quite matched up with the hype. 

(Source: Giphy) 

For this reason, Ford has not only decided to pause the development of two electric three-row SUVs that were slated to be built at their Oakville, Ontario plant - but they’ve decided to invest the $1.3 billion to retool the facility for Super Duty truck production, aiming to meet the high demand that currently outstrips their capacity at other plants. (Because, nothing says “We’re committed to zero emissions” like doubling down on gas-guzzling behemoths). 

(Source: Memedroid) 

But with that said, here’s the kicker: The demand for any Ford product including its redneck Super Duty truck could be put in jeopardy with their latest move. Why? Well because, Ford basically looked at FedEx’s secret police force and thought “Huh, I want to play Big Brother too”. 

(Source: Daily Mail) 

This new patent, first spotted by Motor Authority back in July, details a system where cars are equipped with cameras to monitor other vehicles' speeds. Meaning if your car catches another car speeding, it can snap a photo and send it straight to the police. Think of it like the snot nose, tattle tale kid nobody likes to be around. That’s Ford rn. 

Yet, in light of what appears to be a snitch design, Ford claims this tech is aimed at law enforcement vehicles, like their Police Interceptor models, to help cops do their jobs more efficiently. But come on, let’s be real on this one, that’s like saying you only read Playboy for the articles. Today it's in Police Interceptors, tomorrow it's in your grandma's Fiesta, snitching on her for doing 28 in a 25.

Unsurprisingly, the internet, being its usual lovable self, wasted no time roasting Ford harder than Tom Brady’s roast. One user on X quipped, “Giving yet another reason to never purchase a Ford vehicle ever again?” while another joked, “They should name it… KAREN.” Which actually made me laugh out loud. But still, the general sentiment is clear: Ford may just be out of its friggin mind with this one. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Of course, once the news surfaced and riled up even more criticism to add to the Ford acronym: “Found On Road Dead” - a spokesperson familiar with the matter tried to calm the waters, stating that the patent is “ specific for application in law enforcement vehicles" and doesn’t mean customer data will be shared with the police. But again, when it comes to corporate America, most people aren’t exactly convinced when it comes to its smoke and mirror intentions. 

(Source: National Desk) 

So with that said, while Ford’s new KAREN camera is still quite a bit aways from being integrated into its production, should investors be worried? 

Well in the short term, things seem to be on the come up with Super Duty truck demand at higher than usual levels (especially in Canada) - as the expansion at the Oakville plant is expected to add 1,800 jobs, which is a win for the local economy. 

(Source: Giphy) 

However, on the other hand, the speed camera patent could be a PR nightmare. Nobody likes the idea of their car playing hall monitor. If this tech makes its way into consumer vehicles,Ford might find itself about as popular as a vegan at a Texas BBQ. And in a market where brand loyalty is everything, that’s not enough biscuit for the risk. 

(Source: Tenor) 

Sure, the speed camera could help law enforcement, but it also smells of extreme overreach. If Ford can manage to keep this tech confined to law enforcement, it might avoid a consumer backlash. But if not, well, they might just find themselves being the corporate version of “snitches get stitches”. 

At the time of this writing, Ford is down -4.54% on the day (and down - 16.16% YTD). 

Stocks.News holds positions in Ford Motor Company as mentioned in the article.