Final Tally: Nasdaq Slams the Door And Yells “I’m Not F*ing Leaving!”... Saylor’s Springs a Leak

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Just when I thought I was out, they tech stocks pull me back in… 

Friday morning opened with the optimism of a funeral procession. By 10 a.m., the Nasdaq was getting pancaked nearly 2%, the S&P 500 was getting dog-walked (-1.4%), and the Dow was still emotionally recovering from yesterday’s 800-point meltdown… its worst single-day performance since October 10.

But just when it looked like we were about to witness the great migration out of tech and into the kind of stocks that give ole Warren wet dreams in his Omaha mansion… Alex Karp, Jensen Huang, and Zuck stormed into Manhattan with a vengeance and hit everyone with their best Leo “I’m not f*ing leaving!” impression.

Suddenly, Nvidia, Oracle, Tesla, and Palantir (the same four names that got dragged behind the shed earlier) actually showed a little fight to close out the week.

Oracle’s bounce made the most sense. Investors spent the past 48 hours freaking out over its OpenAI-heavy cloud strategy and the fact that Larry Ellison is trying to play in the same AI capex sandbox as Microsoft and Google… without having Microsoft or Google money. Once the panic cooled and no new “Oracle is doomed” headlines showed up, the stock turned green.

Palantir’s recovery was the classic “we probably sold this too hard” move. Nothing changed fundamentally… the government contracts didn’t disappear overnight, the AI platform didn’t break, and Karp didn’t suddenly lose his aura. Thursday’s 6% drop was just Palantir getting caught in the broader “AI might be overvalued” washout, and today was all the hedge fundies admitting it.

Meanwhile, over in crypto-land, Saylor was seen punching air and bawling his eyes out on his way to lunch in Miami… 

Why you ask? Because Bitcoin slipped under $95,000 for the first time since early May (down 10% since Monday) which is not ideal for a man who built his entire personality around “number go up.” 

And when Bitcoin coughs, everything tethered to it catches financial COVID. In turn, Strategy, Saylor’s levered-through-the-eyeballs Bitcoin vehicle, fell 17% this week and flirting dangerously with its 52-week low like it’s hanging off the edge of a cliff.

Even American Bitcoin (Donnie and Sons’ Saylor copycat) didn’t escape the blast radius. This is after the company announced they 5xed revenue growth on their earnings call. Doesn’t matter. If Bitcoin’s drowning, everybody goes underwater.

Shifting to a more broader market view… with the Fed now pricing in under 50% odds of a December rate cut (down from 95% a month ago) this week should have buried tech six feet under.

But to end the week, AI stocks have decided interest rates are just a suggestion. Needless to say, if Michael Burry thinks he’s going to be able to singlehandedly will another Big Short: AI Edition, he’s got another thing coming. These AI bros don’t go down that easy. Also, make sure to check the Stocks.News app to see our Daily Prophet Watchlist recap. 

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If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla, Microsoft, Google, Bitcoin, and Ethereum as mentioned in the article.