Final Tally: Fed’s “Civil War” Freezes Stonks… Elon Reaches for the Parachute

I’d like to sue someone please…

Not even 24 hours after Donnie Politics threatened to sue Jerome’s a** for “gross incompetence” (read: “why aren’t rates at zero and stocks at all-time highs?”) the Fed dropped the minutes from its latest very dramatic December meeting.

And sure, the Fed did cut rates again. A quarter point. Congrats. Drinks for everyone. But this one barely cleared the bar, passing 9–3.

So what’s the problem? It’s both simple and confusing at the same time… like usual. The Fed is stuck between a rock and a hard place… and both of them are yelling.

Inflation is still hanging around like a bad smell you can’t quite locate. Meanwhile, the labor market looks sturdy… until it doesn’t. Keep rates too high for too long and jobs are the first thing to crack. The minutes basically admit the Fed doesn’t actually know how much pressure 3.5%-3.75% is putting on the economy.

Powell called it being “well positioned to wait and see.” Translation: we’re squinting at the data and praying nothing breaks.

For instance, most officials think more cuts probably make sense if inflation keeps cooling. Others want to sit tight for a while. Hence our current dogsh*t price action in the stonk market. That said, roughly 84% of traders expect the Fed to do nothing next month, and March is a coin flip. Heads we cut. Tails we panic.

Meanwhile, Wall Street tried to hold the line and immediately failed. The S&P 500 finished down 0.17%, the Dow fell 0.1%, and the Nasdaq teased green before rolling over 0.4%. So yeah, calling today a “win” is like calling the Minnesota daycare fraud a clerical mistake.

As for where all the money went in today’s edition of “The Great Rebalancing”? Look no further than “God’s Money”...

Silver bounced more than 7% after suffering its worst one-day drop in over five years. Gold added about 1.3%. Oh... and in case you were wondering how copper was doing (said no one ever)… copper is absolutely cooking. Up roughly 41% this year and on track for its best year since 2009.

And then there’s Elon. After years of crying wolf, Musk appears to be trying a new strategy: telling the truth before anyone asks. Tesla quietly posted its own average analyst estimate for Q4 deliveries (422,850 vehicles)… which implies a roughly 15% year-over-year drop. Not great! 

Even worse, it puts the company on track for a second straight annual decline in sales. When Elon lowers expectations himself, you know things are probably… not great.

And if you’re looking for a reason why you should download our official Stocks.News app (yes, it’s free)… we called out ticker symbol ULY with an official alert right after the market opened… and at the time of writing this, the stock is up 51% on the day.

So congrats if you caught the move. If not… what are you doing?

But seriously, this is just one of the many reasons you should 100% download the app.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

Market Gossip

>Mexico to hike tariffs on China starting Thursday (Reuters): Read: Mexico Hits “Copy and Paste” on Trump’s entire flow…

>Disney agrees to pay $10 million to resolve alleged violations of child privacy laws, Justice Dept. says (CNBC): Somewhere, a lawyer just earned a FastPass.

>Zelensky Claims Trump Is Considering US Boots On The Ground In Ukraine (ZeroHedge): Me, googling “how long is basic training” during the New Year’s Eve party…

>Venezuela Starts Shutting Oil Wells as US Blockade Halts Flows (Bloomberg): There are consequences for testing The Don.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla and Disney as mentioned in the article.