DoorDash CEO KILLS Investor Vibes After Masterclass Earnings (Shares Fall Through Floor)

“I immediately regret this decision” - Tony Xu after trying to use a conception metaphor to explain why DoorDash continues to light money on fire… 

Give it up for DoorDash who single handedly put on an absolute CLINIC during earnings only to become the biggest buzzkill imaginable. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, the company responsible for my Dad Bod had orders hit 776 million last quarter, up 21% year over year, while revenue soared to $3.45 billion. Naturally, Wall Street was horned up over this… that is until Tony Xu walked out and said, “By the way, we’re about to spend hundreds of millions more next year,” and the stock got flashbanged into double-digit losses. Translation: This is the most DoorDash thing ever… crush expectations, then proudly announce you’re lighting money on fire for “the future.”

(Source: Yahoo Finance) 

To be fair, they’re busy. They added restaurant reservations (because the one thing DoorDash needed was to become OpenTable), built a “smart scale” to tell if a burrito’s missing, and dropped a new autonomous robot named Dot… who is planned to handle deliveries in Phoenix next year. Meaning, R&D costs jumped 23% to $355 million this quarter and Xu says it’s all worth it as they’re creating a “single global tech platform” to unify DoorDash, Wolt, and Deliveroo.

The problem though… is that DoorDash’s business is finally profitable, and Xu’s out here acting like a Series B founder on too much unicorn dust. Net income rose 51% to $244 million, but still missed analyst expectations because, of course, they’re spending it all building robot coworkers and international codebases no one asked for. But if all this wasn’t enough to absolutely decapitate the vibe investors had been yearning for, Xu dropped the line of the year: “We wish there was a way to grow a baby into an adult without investment, or to see the baby grow into an adult overnight…” What an incredible way to justify setting $300 million on fire.

(Source: Giphy) 

Of course, DoorDash wants investors to think this is the “long game.” That they’re building an end-to-end delivery empire… one app, one robot, one global codebase to rule them all. But it’s starting to look like every tech company’s midlife crisis: just enough cash to experiment, not enough discipline to stop. So yeah, orders are booming, margins are thinner than a friggin’ napkin, and DoorDash is now moonlighting as an AI robotics startup. But at what cost? 

Only time will tell, but as of now, investors have their pitchforks in hand as DoorDash is down bigly bad -15.31% on the day. BTMFD, anyone? LOL. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.