Crypto Goes Public Once Again as ReserveOne IPO Is Set to Extract $1 Billion (Michael Saylor 2.0?)

By Stocks News   |   2 weeks ago   |   Stock Market News
Crypto Goes Public Once Again as ReserveOne IPO Is Set to Extract $1 Billion (Michael Saylor 2.0?)

Every few months, Wall Street gets bored of pretending it understands AI, and pivots back to the world’s oldest speculative itch: wrapping crypto in enough legalese to trick pension fund managers into thinking they’re “early.” This is precisely where ReserveOne comes in… the newest “first-of-its-kind” crypto holding company that has convinced an entire table of strategic investors that holding a potluck of bitcoin, ethereum, and Solana counts as, you know, a business model.

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(Source: Giphy) 

For starters, ReserveOne is hitting the Nasdaq (date TBA) through an M3-Brigade Acquisition V Corp SPAC deal, and is expected to extract over $1B from investors with short attention spans and even shorter due diligence requirements. Two things up front: first, yes, they’re going to manage a “diverse portfolio” containing Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana, and if you’re lucky, maybe some illiquidity for flavor. Second, no, this is not a Michael Saylor reboot, but the playbook is straight out of his investment thesis graveyard. When MicroStrategy went full Bitcoin cult in 2020 and their stock accidentally went vertical, every crypto mouth breather alive decided “holding crypto on the balance sheet” was the cheat code to market cap growth. Now ReserveOne is here to let you buy “crypto exposure” without ever learning how to reset a lost Metamask wallet. American innovation, baby. 

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(Source: Yahoo Finance) 

Additionally, Tether’s co-founder Reeve Collins is chairing this circus, which is a little like naming a casino after Bernie Madoff and then acting surprised when grandma’s social security check vanishes. Kraken, Blockchain.com, and every VC who added “Web3” to their website in 2021 are tossing $750 million into the ring, which, to be clear, is almost certainly less than the aggregate spent minting the phrase “tokenized public markets” onto slide decks this year. 

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(Source: Global Newswire) 

As for the deal math, the receipts are as follows: $297.7 million from M3’s trust account (assuming nobody bails pre-close, lol), plus $750 million in “PIPE” commitments… $500 million in equity/warrants, $250 million in convertible notes. Watch out for that “convertible note” thing, by the way, because nothing says long-term conviction like structuring your investment so you can bail at the first sign of a crypto winter. 

Now, if you’re wondering if this actually matters for markets, congrats you’ve seen this movie before. This is how regulated finance swallows crypto… one SPAC, one recycled exec, on half-baked “reserve” narrative at a time. It’s comforting, in a way, to know the only thing more reliable than regulatory arbitrage is institutional capital sneaking in through the back door. The only thing missing is a commemorative NFT for everyone who pretended to understand this pitch. 

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(Source: Giphy) 

In the end, ReserveOne will get its Nasdaq ticker, and for five minutes, degenerates everywhere will ask if they should “get some crypto stock.” On the other end of the spectrum though, M3-Brigade’s shares dropped 4% pre-market after news broke. Which kind of tells you everything you need to know about this shindig. But alas, if nothing else, try not to sprain your trigger finger chasing this IPO. There’s always another holding co coming. 

For now, keep your eyes on this story and place your bets accordingly. Don’t fall into the FOMO trap without doing your due diligence. Until next time, friends… 

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At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article. 

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