CrowdStrike's Pathetic $10 Apology Sparks Outrage, 'Fear Gauge' Hits Three-Month High

Goodmorning and Happy Thursday!

I hate to say it, but the markets got absolutely rekt yesterday. The S&P 500 ended up closing below 2% for the first time in 356 days, while the Nasdaq itself, felt the pain of its AI fever “cooling” with a massive -3.6% selloff.  

(Source: Giphy) 

Additionally, in the midst of all the carnage, ten of the richest people in the world collectively lost $66 billion of their net worths in a single day, with poor Elon leading the pack with a $17.1 billion loss. 

(Source: Forbes) 

So it’s clear, it wasn’t just a rough day for investors, it was an absolute sh*t show for pretty much everyone… well, except for the boring old bond guys.

They managed to come out unscathed as the 10-Year Treasury yield posted a measly +0.14% uptick. So congrats to you risk averse peeps… 

(Source: Giphy) 

However, while the heavily relied upon “Fear Gauge” is sitting at a three-month high as Tesla, Google, and other behemoths post lackluster earnings… 

It looks like Crowdstrike is looking to patch up some of its reputation (and give us a bit of a laugh during this horrific week in the markets) with an apology that still feels like a slap in the face. 

(Source: Giphy) 

As we all know, (and are tired of hearing), Crowdstrike released a faulty update that essentially turned millions of Windows devices into expensive paperweights. With a monumental fallout resulting in chaos for airlines, hospitals, and business from Amerstadm to Dubai… it’s gone down as the worst IT outage in history, making Meta’s 2021 software crash look like a walk in the park.

(Source: AP) 

Yet, in the midst of causing an estimated $5.4 billion in damages for all those affected (including Delta Airlines, that has canceled upwards of 5,000+ flights with a looming investigation on their shoulders) what does Crowdstrike do to make it right? Drumroll please… a $10 Uber Eats voucher. 

What da h#ll? 

(Source: Giphy) 

I have to be honest, when I first saw this I actually did “LOL”, because it’s as if some Crowdstrike executive said, “Let’s just get everyone a latte on us” and everyone went with it like it was a genius idea. 

(Source: TechCrunch) 

Now while this is absolutely hilarious, and pretty much pathetic compared to the damages Crowdstrike caused, this apology gets better. Not only was the $10 gift card a laughable attempt at reconciliation, but it also didn’t work for many recipients…

Uber flagged the codes as fraudulent due to high usage rates. So, the poor souls trying to get a free coffee as a consolation prize were met with error messages instead. You legit can’t make this stuff up folks, this apology is basically like giving someone a Band-Aid for a bullet wound. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Unsurprisingly, the internet had a field day with this one. Social media lit up with reactions ranging from disbelief to outright mockery. One user pointed out that $10 wouldn’t even cover the service charge on Uber Eats, let alone a meal. Another quipped that it’s the corporate equivalent of an office pizza party—nice gesture, but it doesn’t pay the bills.

(Source: Reddit) 

CrowdStrike’s Chief Business Officer, Daniel Bernard, was the one who initially sent out the email to affected partners saying, “To express our gratitude, your next cup of coffee or late-night snack is on us!” Yet, with the additional massive backlash, Crowdstrike CEO, George Kurtz, tried to do some more damage control by saying, “Nothing is more important to me than the trust and confidence that our customers and partners have put into CrowdStrike.” (Sorry, Kurtz, but a $10 gift card doesn’t exactly scream “trust and confidence”).

George Kurtz Apologizing Probably… 

So with all this Thursday morning comedy said, what’s the takeaway here for investors?

Well for starters it’s a PR nightmare. The company’s reputation has already taken a hit, and with this apology, it only makes things worse for Crowdstrike. Sure, investors like Cathie Wood have swooped in on the company for what seemed like a viable dip buy… but even she couldn’t have foreseen a laugh in the face apology like this. 

(Source: Barrons) 

Now, we’ll see how Crowdstrike’s stock performs during today’s opening bell, but with a -26.50% plunge over the last five days… the near future doesn’t look promising, especially after the apology. 

In the end, CrowdStrike’s $10 UberEats apology is a masterclass in how not to handle a crisis. And if there’s anything good that comes from this, it’s that investors may get a change in management sometime soon. Because simply put, when you screw up this badly, a cup of coffee just isn’t going to cut it. Sorry ‘boutcha! 

(Source: Giphy) 

Stocks.News holds positions in Meta Platforms, Tesla, Uber, and Google as mentioned in the article.