Cloudflare Sends Internet Into the Dark Ages For One Brief Moment (Shares Tank)

Babe… wake up. Cloudflare just bricked half the internet again.

In case you missed it, Cloudflare spent the better part of yesterday morning doing what it does best: accidentally speed-running a simulated internet apocalypse. One fatally thicc configuration file took down X, ChatGPT, Spotify, Shopify, Indeed, NJ Transit, and about 20% of the modern world before breakfast.

(Source: Reddit) 

Yes, you read that correctly. According to Cloudflare, there was no hack, or Russian mobster to be found with this. Instead, just one file… got too big… and crashed the entire global threat management system. Sounds legit. The outage lasted roughly four hours, which in internet time is basically a small Dark Age. Even Downdetector went down, which is like 911 calling 911.

(Source: Axios) 

By mid-morning, Cloudflare said it “implemented a fix” as sites started limping back online. College students pretended they weren’t panic-refreshing ChatGPT like fiends. X users celebrated by immediately posting memes about Cloudflare’s engineering department needing adult supervision. And honestly, it’s understandable to lose your sh*t over this. Especially considering this is the fourth major infrastructure face-plant we’ve had. If you recall, AWS died for a day, Microsoft Azure took the express train to hell, CrowdStrike bricked half the global PC fleet, and now Cloudflare fat-fingered the world offline with one obese file. If you’re wondering whether our digital civilization is held together by duct tape and two stressed-out SREs, the answer is yes.

Naturally, Cloudflare shares sank because of it… where now, prices are down -16% over the past five trading days. Still, for all the chaos, Cloudflare still guards a fifth of the web, filters DDOS attacks like candy, and owns the CDN real estate everyone else depends on. A single bad file shouldn’t take down the modern world… but it did… and we all just politely moved on because there’s literally no Plan B. Because there isn’t. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Meaning, while AI is eating your job, the Swiss are mailing 200 billion dollars to America, the world’s favorite websites only exist because Cloudflare crosses its fingers every time it pushes an update. LOL. Until next time, friends…

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Microsoft as mentioned in the article.