Brookfield Splurges $7B for Hotwire Acquisition, Proves Fiber Is Sexier than AI…

How many billionaires does it take to fix your dogsh*t internet? Apparently, not enough… but Brookfield is giving it a shot. In short, Brookfield just just agreed to throw $7 billion (debt included) at Hotwire Communications… a.k.a. Every HOA president’s drug internet of choice. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, Hotwire started in Florida, which tracks, because Florida has the unique distinction of being both the home of alligators and the place where internet companies go to squeeze every penny out of retirement communities. Now they’ve slimed their way into nine states: Florida, Georgia, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, South Carolina, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, California. Meaning, if your neighborhood is gated and your neighbor reports you for not edging your lawn, there’s a good chance Hotwire is involved.

(Source: Reuters) 

With that said, Blackstone acquired the communication company for a billion back in 2021, and they’re now flipping it for a bigly 7x multiple. Why? Because they know the demand is sky high right now. For instance, the fiber land grab is on a heater. Telecoms and private equity are panic-buying every mile of fiber they can get their hands on, all because the “cable monopoly” model is finally going the way of Blockbuster. Translation: if you’re stuck with one internet provider and their customer service makes you fantasize about violence, congratulations: you’re the target market pumping demand. 

Case in point: Verizon handed over $9.6 billion to buy back Frontier’s old fiber lines, and AT&T just spent $5.75 billion to vacuum up Lumen’s residential fiber biz. That’s nearly $23 billion in deals in under a year, so apparently the real infrastructure play isn’t roads, bridges, or AI… it’s making sure Karen’s Peloton never buffers. Which is why Brookfield is so horned up on the opportunity. They already own Intrepid Fiber, which basically does the same thing as Hotwire, except with a different logo and, presumably, more consultants. And yet, the reason for doubling down is simple: fiber is the most boringly reliable cash cow left on the planet. It’s like buying a toll road where the tolls go up every year and nobody can opt out unless they want to go full Ted Kaczynski. The margins are fat, the churn is low, and every new iPhone launch just means more bandwidth demand.

(Source: Giphy) 

So, while Hotwire’s not about to become the next Google, it is going to keep funneling subscription money to its new Canadian parents at Brookfield. Moral of the story? The broadband wars are far from over. It’s only the beginning… especially as every Tom, Dick, and Hairy start realizing that the real money’s in quietly extracting rent from America’s compulsive TikTok habit. Meaning Brookfield’s bet is simply this… as long as people keep doom scrolling, the fiber money printer won’t stop. 

As for investors, the news is either a letdown or a big uncertainty as Brookfield and Blackstone shares were down -5.32% and -3.53% last week. As for me? I think they’ve just triggered a major BTMFD opportunity that could lead next week's price action. Of course, don’t quote me on that… but the fiber cash cow is real. And $7 billion definitely shows it. Meaning, keep your eyes on this story and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Google, Verizon, and AT&T as mentioned in the article.