Allow me to predict tomorrow's headline: Bureau of Labor Statistics fat fingers total number of jobs created in the U.S. over the past year LOL 

A “blowout” January jobs print hit the tape and the market reaction was about as exciting as a Bad Bunny halftime show (read: not exciting). In short, the receipts show the Bureau of Labor Statistics dropped 130,000 nonfarm payrolls versus 55,000 expected while unemployment came in at 4.3%... touch better than the 4.4% forecast. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Of course, on paper that looks like Judd Nelson fist pump, but in practice? Traders weren’t impressed (presumably because the BSL is notorious for fat fingering data). The Dow drifted lower by 66 points, while both the S&P 500 and Nasdaq traded flat. Why? Well because of the “catch”. See, all that job growth came from healthcare… 124,000 of the 130,000. That’s less “broad-based strength” and more “one sector carrying the entire group project.” Meanwhile, 2025 was a masterclass in downward revisions. Every month got trimmed. After benchmark adjustments, average monthly job growth last year came in at just 15,000. Which isn’t exactly animal spirits. 

Meaning, yes, while the headline looked zesty… the aftertaste felt processed. Keep in mind, this comes a day after consumer spending for December printed flat versus +0.4% expected. The American consumer, the main character in this whole economy, suddenly looks like he checked his bank app and gave up the ghost. Woof.

(Source: Giphy) 

Over in software land, names are still getting shafted as the AI hangover continues. Salesforce dropped 4% while ServiceNow fell 5%. Elsewhere, Zillow Group got absolutely bodied… down 17% after missing EPS by a penny. Revenue beat, sure. No one cared. The stock was pacing for its worst day since November 2021. One cent short and the market gave it the 2008 treatment. 

However, big tech wasn’t all lost. Generac jumped nearly 18% despite missing earnings. Why? Data center exposure. Hyperscalers are the new sugar daddies. If you can whisper “AI infrastructure backlog” on a call, traders will forgive a lot.  As for healthcare and biotech, well… they didn’t exactly save the day either. Moderna cratered 4% after the FDA refused to review its flu shot application. Humana slid 3% even though it technically beat expectations. Adjusted loss was slightly better than forecast. Revenue topped estimates. But again, it didn’t matter. The guidance and sentiment mattered more than a quarter that’s already dead. 

(Source: Giphy) 

But, but, but… Donnie Deals keeps the economy printing. Tariff collections in January hit $30 billion. Fiscal year-to-date at $124 billion… up 304% versus the same period in 2025. Now it’s up to whether or not the Supreme Court actually pisses in Uncle Sam's coffee with the “unconsitutional” timestamp. 

So yeah… in the end, we did have a job number beat. It wasn’t broad and it wasn’t clean. But it landed into a market that’s already questioning growth durability, consumer momentum, and AI multiples that ran a little too hot. Translation: The Dow's indifference tells you everything. Meaning, keep your head on the swivel and place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.
 

☕ Market Gossip
 

> Tech investor Orlando Bravo says most software companies don’t have enough profit (CNBC): I’ll take “yeah, no sh*t ” for $500, please… 

> Strong Job Report Complicates Fed’s Path to More Rate Cuts (Bloomberg):  ALL CAPS post incoming… 

> Cash App Adds Payment Links So You Can Get Paid In a DM (TechCrunch): Imagine having to tell your future children you met their mother by sliding into her Cash App DM… *throws up in mouth a little bit*

> Meta launches AI algorithm personalization feature for Threads (CNBC): Desperate times call for desperate measures, amirite, Zuck?

 

“WTF” Meme of the Day

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Meta as mentioned in the article.