Block (+24%) Nukes Nearly HALF Its Workforce as Dorsey Crowns Claudebot His “Elite Employee”

“Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make…” -Jack Dorsey, shortly before sending out a 2-word mass email to employees

Apparently the fastest way to add $10 billion in market cap these days… is to fire half your workforce and whisper “AI” into the earnings call microphone.

Block shares catapulted as much as 24% after the Square-maker announced it’s laying off more than 4,000 employees… nearly HALF its headcount.

And this is just the beginning… Jack Dorsey (yes, the barefoot philosopher king of Twitter lore) told shareholders his main goal will be to whittle Block from over 10,000 employees to just under 6,000.

Translation: Claudebot (via iMac Mini), you have been promoted… you are now my elite employee.

According to CFO Amrita Ahuja, the cuts will allow Block “to move faster with smaller, highly talented teams using AI to automate more work.”

Ah yes. The classic corporate glow-up:

Step 1: Hire 6,000 extra people during the pandemic.

Step 2: Discover ChatGPT can do math right half the time.

Step 3: Become spiritually minimalist.

Now despite shares being down 76% since 2021, Dorsey insists this isn’t about weakness (sure, Jan). In fact, he made it very clear the business is “strong.” Gross profit jumped 24% year-over-year to $2.87 billion. While adjusted EPS came in right in line with expectations.

So naturally, Wall Street responded by losing their pants.

Because in 2026, growth + AI + fewer humans = chef’s kiss.

Dorsey even predicted most companies will follow suit within a year. (Who’s gonna tell him that this trend started 2-3 years ago?)

The restructuring will cost roughly $450M to $500M in charges (mostly severance and benefits), with the bulk hitting Q1. But investors don’t care. They see margin expansion and hear the word “automation,” and suddenly the “stonk only go up” narrative is strong with this one.

And let’s be honest, Jack may think he’s way ahead of the curve… but this is literally everyone’s MO right now.

Pinterest. CrowdStrike. Chegg. Amazon. Meta. Microsoft. Verizon. You name it… Any job that doesn’t take a real high value skill, is getting replaced by a robot.

The message from Silicon Valley is getting louder: If a “significantly smaller team” can do more using intelligence tools… why wouldn’t you?

Of course, Matt Walsh and a handful of podcasters can sit there and rant about AI being immoral… about how humans are voluntarily automating themselves out of relevance (and to be fair, he’s got a point).

But it doesn’t really matter. The train has already left the station and the conductor is an AI bot.

Regardless of what you believe, this one fact is undeniable: In 2026, Wall Street doesn’t reward companies for hiring talent (unless you’re Zuck). It rewards them for replacing it.

Oh and if any of your friends or colleagues claim AI is a hoax and is not a serious threat to their company, maybe send them this article.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon, Meta, Microsoft, and Verizon as mentioned in the article.