Bitcoin Does Lines As Trump Lobs More Tariff Grenades (He’s Got a Point Though)

Look, say what you will about Trump, but at least the man’s consistent… he threatens tariffs, markets throw a mini tantrum, then collectively remember they kinda love cheap imports and strongman posturing. Monday was no different, except this time everyone basically shrugged and kept stuffing money into AI and bitcoin like nothing happened.

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In short, the S&P 500 crawled up 0.14% to 6,268.56 and the Nasdaq  ticked up 0.27% to 20,640.33. Meanwhile, the Dow mooned 88 points to 44,459.65. None of it exactly screaming “meltdown,” despite Donny Politics announcing Saturday he’d slap 30% tariffs on the EU and Mexico come August 1. Because if there’s one thing the man loves more than his brand, it’s leverage. Of course, investors are betting Trump’s just running the opening bid. Because spoiler: that’s how he negotiates everything from NATO dues to prenups.

Meanwhile, bitcoin is on a bender. The digital cockroach sprinted above $123,000 overnight, cooled back to $120,000 making crypto X way more insufferable than it already is. Because of this, MicroStrategy popped as Cowen hiked MSTR’s price target from $590 to $680. Michael Saylor be like “I have a particular set of skills. Mostly involving debt and bitcoin.”

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Elsewhere, Autodesk spiked +5% after telling PTC to go pound sand instead of merging. PTC took the hint and dipped -2%. Paypal, on the other hand, rose +3.55% after Morgan Stanley shrugged off rumors that JPMorgan might start charging for access to customer bank data. Because sure, like people really care who’s skimming their transactions when they’re busy buying nonsense that TikTok made them buy.  

As for Waters, it cratered -13% after deciding to saddle up with Becton Dickinson’s biosciences unit. Waters will load up with $4B in debt and dilute itself by nearly 40%. Investors promptly barfed. Oh, and Micron slid -5%, presumably because Nvidia’s $4 trillion valuation reminded everyone who’s actually daddy in semiconductors. 

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As for Big Tech, it was a mixed bag all around. Nvidia dipped -0.52%, while Broadcom popped +0.44%. Apple went skinny dipping with a -1.20% plunge as Meta boasted a +0.48% gain. Meanwhile, Microsoft took a -0.06% hit as Alphabet and Amazon both ‘soared’ +0.83% and +0.30%. So yeah… definitely a Trail Mix kind of day. 

With that said, McDonalds really got the short end of the stick today as Ronald & the Gang got labeled a “sell” by Melius Research. Why? Because it appears that Americans are suddenly pretending to care about “freshness” and “health” instead of salt and “diabeetus”. What a time to be alive. As for investors, they could careless. Shares pumped +0.65%. 

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In the end, the recap is this: Trump’s rattling the tariff saber, markets barely flinched, bitcoin’s on meth, and we’re rolling into the madness of bank earnings. Meaning, keep your head on the swivel and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today. 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Meta, Microsoft, Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, and McDonalds as mentioned in the article.