Apple Issues Emergency Motion As DOJ Threatens To Obliterate Their $20bln Money Printing Machine

Apple just filed an emergency motion to pump the brakes on the Justice Department’s remedies trial against Google, and honestly, the energy here is chef’s kiss. Picture a kid who’s been quietly raking in allowance money while their sibling gets yelled at, suddenly realizing that their gravy train might derail if mom bans snacks altogether. That’s Apple right now, panicking because the DOJ’s antitrust hammer isn’t just aimed at Google—it’s got Apple’s name etched into the side for good measure.

(Source: The Verge) 

ICYMI, last year, Judge Amit Mehta ruled that Google runs the general search market like a mob boss, using billions in default placement deals to keep competitors in a perpetual chokehold. One of those sweet deals? The $20 billion Google throws at Apple annually to stay the default search engine on iPhones, iPads, and every other overpriced “innovative” tech Cupertino churns out. For Google, it’s the cost of doing business. For Apple, it’s free money—a fat stack of Benjamins for doing absolutely nothing beyond what they were already doing.

Now that we’re in the “remedies” phase of this antitrust clusterf**k, where the DOJ wants to kneecap Google’s monopoly, Apple suddenly realized it might not be sitting pretty for much longer. The DOJ’s proposed solutions include banning these kinds of commercial deals for a decade. That’s a decade of Apple not getting paid to let Google dominate its home screen real estate. And Apple, understandably, is not here for it. 

(Source: Mac Daily) 

So, late Thursday, Apple filed what can only be described as an “Oh sh^t” emergency legal form. In their spontaneous motion, they basically stated that if the courts don’t let them talk, they’ll be forced to watch the government dismantle their $20 billion side hustle without even letting them defend themselves. 

Judge Mehta, for his part, already denied Apple’s earlier request to take a more active role in this trial, saying they filed too late. Instead, he gave them the option to submit post-hearing briefs like the rest of the non-parties. But Apple, being Apple, isn’t exactly the type to take a backseat while someone else drives their revenue bus off a cliff.

(Source: Giphy) 

Now, here’s where things get interesting: Apple’s filing isn’t just about wanting to chime in for the sake of it. They’re worried Google won’t adequately defend Apple’s interests during the trial. Because let’s be real—Google’s got bigger problems, like the DOJ wanting to body bag its Chrome browser business. Meaning, according to Apple, if Google is too busy dodging antitrust nukes to argue for the sanctity of its Apple deal, Apple’s left twisting in the wind. 

Which means if Mehta doesn’t grant Apple’s stay, they’re at least asking for access to discovery and depositions so they can prepare for battle while they wait for the Circuit Court to hear their appeal. Without that, Apple claims it’ll suffer “irreparable harm.” And by “irreparable harm,” they mean losing out on billions of dollars in basically free cash for letting Google be the boss of the iOS search game. 

(Source: Giphy)

The irony here is almost too much. Apple’s over here pretending to be the innocent bystander in this antitrust fiasco, all while they’ve been cashing Google’s checks with zero complaints for years. And now that the DOJ’s finally trying to break up the monopoly they’ve been profiting from, Apple’s pulling the “What about me?” card.

So, what’s the play here? Apple doesn’t actually want to build its own search engine, and they sure as hell don’t want Bing or DuckDuckGo taking Google’s spot. They just want to keep doing what they’ve been doing—sitting back, collecting checks, and letting Google do all the heavy lifting. The DOJ’s remedies trial starts in April, and if Apple doesn’t get its way, expect them to keep making noise until someone listens. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Because at the end of the day, if there’s one thing Apple hates more than green bubbles, it’s losing free money. For now, expect some ruckus to be made and place your bets accordingly, friends. As always, stay safe and stay frosty! Until next time…

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Stocks.News holds positions in Apple and Google as mentioned in the article.