Apple Buys a Little Patriotism Worth $600B, Stocks Moon (Love to See It)

Trump just gave Tim Cook the J-Poww slap on the back treatment… 

The S&P 500 ripped today… thank gawd…  because Apple decided to go full patriotic sugar daddy and funnel another $100 billion into domestic manufacturing. Meaning, Apple’s singing the “Made in America” tune worth a total investment of $600 billion over the next four years… presumably so Washington stops breathing down Tim Apple’s ‘sweatshop’ wearing neck. 

(Source: Imgflip) 

As a result, Apple jumped 5% on the day, dragging the entire market with it while the Nasdaq popped 1.21% and the Dow crawled 0.18%. Bigly. Keep in mind, this comes off the heels of a string of red days and market uncertainty over tariffs, jobs data, and existential dread. But apparently all it takes is one $100B pledge to bring chip plants and iPhone factories back home… and suddenly the aura is immaculate. 

Of course, the White House is spinning this as a manufacturing renaissance, but everyone knows what's really going on here: Apple is trying to buy political immunity before the next round of China-adjacent regulatory smackdowns. Translation: rent may be coming soon, but because Apple bought the landlord a bottle of scotch, they’re hoping there will be some quid pro quo in the air. Meanwhile, earnings season is delivering a certified dopamine drip. According to FactSet, 81% of reporting S&P 500 companies are beating expectations, which means Wall Street’s favorite pastime (lowballing guidance)... remains fully intact.

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As for individual cards, McDonalds’ golden arches shined with nearly 3% gains after serving up some yuuuuge same-store sales, while Arista Networks decided to go full beast mode, up 17% on strong results. Even Grocery Outlet got in on the action, rocketing 42% as discount canned soup is having a moment. 

With that said though, not everyone was hot and bothered today. Snap lost 17% after it missed revenue by what amounts to a rounding error and then blamed… Ramadan? AMD dropped more than 6% after missing on EPS. And Bloomin’ Brands got sautéed, down -30% after dropping some limp bizkit guidance. Elsewhere, Viasat surprised everyone by doing something positive for once (like say, not bleeding money), up +30.6% on a rare profitable quarter. Amazon, and Tesla tacked on nearly 4%, and Broadcom closed at +3% as Meta and Alphabet took the scenic route, climbing about 1%. Microsoft, however, dipped ever so slightly in the wake of today’s rally. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Oh, and Bitcoin did what Bitcoin always does… swung from $113,300 to $115,500 with some volatility main character energy. So yeah, ‘twas a good day today. Apple cut a check, stocks somewhat rallied, and everyone forgets that most of this “domestic investment” is just window dressing for another lobbying cycle. Good times. Of course, tomorrow may be a different story considering we have another laundry list of reports (including: Eli Lilly,  Pinterest, and Restaurant Brands). Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Apple, Snap, Meta, Alphabet, Microsoft, Amazon, and Tesla as mentioned in the article.