Adam Neumann Is Back and Just Gaslit the Entire VC Cesspool for Another $100 Million (Sup, Softbank)

Well, look at what the cat dragged in. Just one day after I make a Masa Son-Adam Neumann joke, Mr. Neumann said “Hold my beer”, and convinced another schuck to pump his ever loving bags. In short, Adam Neumann is back. Again. And somehow, impossibly, he's managed to convince people with real money—like, nine-zero money–that this time is different.

(Source: Giphy) 

Flow, his post-WeWork redemption fantasy disguised as a residential real estate startup, just raised over $100 million, bringing its valuation to a bigly $2.5 billion. Again, this is all from the same guy who turned WeWork into a $47 billion hallucination before detonating it like a frat house firework show.

The lead investor on this? None other than Andreessen Horowitz… again. The same firm that already dumped $350 million into this thing back in 2022, right after Neumann walked away from the smoldering wreckage of WeWork with a golden parachute and zero accountability. Now a16z owns 25% of Neumann’s new baby—which honestly is just another WeWork with a different name and the same “trust me, bro” energy. 

(Source: Bloomberg) 

So with that said, just like its predecessor, Flow is not a tech company. It’s not a platform. It’s a real estate firm with a website that reads like it was written during Burning Man. “Communities designed to connect you with yourself, your neighbors, and the natural world.” Cringe. I just got horrific flashbacks of WeWorks dreadful S1. 

And yet, now according to Neumann, it’s IPO material. “I’m sure this is a company that we could take public one day,” he told Bloomberg, like we all just forgot the last time he said that and proceeded to light investor capital on fire (sup, Masa). But of course, that doesn’t matter anymore. Not when you’ve got Andreessen Horowitz willing to shovel more cash into the bonfire. Not when you're still somehow in the room, pitching to people who should know better. Not when the entire VC ecosystem is so addicted to founder charisma that it’s willing to ignore every red flag in sight. 

(Source: TechCrunch) 

But, but, but… what makes Flow any different? Or more specifically, more unique? Well for one, everyone is pretending it’s smarter because he’s buying the buildings instead of leasing them. That’s the bar now. “Didn’t make the same catastrophic operational error twice.” Incredible. Meanwhile, Flow is expanding into Saudi Arabia, which is honestly smart—Have you seen Dubai?

In the U.S., the residential real estate company owns and operates apartment buildings in places like Fort Lauderdale and Miami—a.k.a. markets where overpriced optimism still sells. Additionally they’ve also added “Workflow”. Which is their new office-sharing concept, again, WeWork 2.0, but with more real estate ownership baked in. The idea is to put co-working spaces into Flow-owned buildings or partner properties. So yeah, same playbook without the “tech company” delusion stapled to the front.

(Source: Giphy) 

The only question now is is it sustainable? Maybe, especially if Neumann’s internal memos stating Flow to be cash-flow positive by the end of 2025 isn’t just him lying through his teeth. But, honestly, even if it is—we still live in a world where “energy” = valuation and memory loss is a prerequisite for venture funding. And right now, Neumann and Flow are swimming in it. 

Of course, this doesn’t matter a lick to investors considering it’s not public (yet). But given the WeWork IPO failure, you better believe Neumann is coming back with a chip on his shoulder. Meaning, don’t be surprised if this thing starts trading on exchanges sometime soon. In the meantime, enjoy the story and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

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Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.