Pour one out for the professional brown-wearers… 

In case you were too busy looking at Sydney Sweeney's great genes (read: Lingerie brand announcement tease), UPS woke up yesterday and chose violence. 

(Source: Giphy) 

The brown truck empire announced it’s cutting 30,000 jobs, shutting down 24 buildings, and officially slow-walking its breakup with Amazon. Which is funny, because this is after they already nuked 48,000 jobs and closed 93 buildings last year. Savage. 

(Source: CNBC) 

That said, the headline version is that UPS is “winding down” its Amazon relationship. The real version is that Amazon built its own logistics Death Star, and UPS is pretending this was mutual. For context, the home of “I’ve got a big one for ya” said they expect to save $3B from the Amazon unwind. But let’s be clear here, Amazon used to be UPS’s whale. Now UPS is cutting 25 million operational hours tied directly to Amazon volume. Some call it trimming the edges, but I call it ripping out the engine and hoping the car still rolls downhill.

And yes, automation is involved. Obviously. UPS confirmed it’s “deploying more automation across the network” all while absolutely roundhouse kicking earnings. Translation: Nothing says “strong quarter” like tens of thousands of layoffs and an obituary for half your footprint. Wall Street loves a good firing spree. It’s basically buybacks for people. Meanwhile, the Teamsters are standing in the corner cracking their knuckles LOL. 

(Source: Giphy) 

But alas, zooming out and it’s crystal clear in this racket: Amazon doesn’t need UPS, and UPS certainly doesn’t want Amazon’s margins. So in the grand scheme of things… it works. Everyone stays strategic and knows it’s about survival. Of course, we’ll see how things shake out… and whether UPS actually saves a metric f*ck ton like they say they will. But for now, keep your eyes on this story and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends…

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon as mentioned in the article.